Baptizing Babies in the Birdbath

girls pencil ch matte

Baptizing Babies in the Birdbath

We were baptizing babies in the birdbath,
me and Beats,
plastic pouty babies
with hard dimpled bellies
and yes or no eyes.

I baptize thee, Betsy Ann Wetsy
(in my most Godly voice)
I baptize thee
in the name of the Father,
(pouring water over sculpted hair)
and of the Son,
(swishing clicky head in basin)
and of the Holy Ghost,
(pressuring bad bubble spirits out of
off-center hole in bum)

There.

Having fulfilled requirements
for all our grandparent’s denominations
I held Betsy by rigid foot
and rained blessings
on the sidewalk.

Um, said Beats.

Um.

You blasphemed.
You said Holy Ghost.
You committed the unpardonable sin.

Um.

My life for yours, Betsy.
You take that kind of risk sometimes
for babies you love
when you don’t know all the rules.

When I was a child it was easy to believe that God was angry with me for doing something I didn’t know was wrong. I don’t know where the idea came from, but I know that it was strong enough to leave me fearful that come the great judgment day I would be rejected for failing to keep all the rules and having unconfessed sin in my life (because I didn’t know it was a sin.)

This poem seems light-hearted, but it is about a real experience. I was about five-years old. Beatrix and I had just come from enduring another sermon we didn’t understand. (My grandson defines a sermon as “when people talk about God but don’t let you ask questions.”) All we picked up was that there was an “unpardonable sin.”

For years I didn’t have the heart to tell Mom and Dad that all their efforts to send me to Sunday School and Bible clubs and camps were in vain because I was already damned.

It took a long time before I realized that Jesus is the perfect image of the Father. He absolutely loves children – and adults. He doesn’t set them up for failure. He didn’t come to condemn, but to rescue us and restore our relationship with a loving Father.

I needed to let go of the lie that God is angry and capricious and impossible to please before I could see his eyes of love for me. It wasn’t easy; I struggled to let go of the only security I had known – keeping rules and striving to be good enough. But setting out on a journey to search for the real God has been so worth it. He healed my heart, took away my fear, and created in me a place to hold on to his love.

I decided to post this poem today because I know there are others who, for whatever reason, have the same picture of God – and you are tired and depressed and ready to let go. You’ve tried about as hard as you can try. You’ve gone through rituals and attempts to meet man-made requirements but are still afraid it’s not good enough.

I met someone who was old and ill. He was busy “covering all the bases,” going through all sorts of religious rituals and donating to several denominations. I saw in him the same old familiar fear. What if I am too bad for God to accept me?

I told him all God required of him was to let Jesus do what he came to do – love him just as he was. He found it hard, but the last time I visited him he sang, with steady voice, an old Kris Kristofferson song.

Why me Lord what have I ever done
To deserve even one of the pleasures I’ve known
Tell me, Lord, what did I ever do
That was worthy of you or the kindness you’ve shown

Lord help me, Jesus, I’ve wasted it so
Help me Jesus I know what I am
But now that I know that I’ve needed you so
Help me, Jesus, my soul’s in your hand.

I believe Jesus heard him.

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6 thoughts on “Baptizing Babies in the Birdbath

  1. I love the line you wrote, “…let Jesus do what He came to do…” So simple, yet life-changing. There’s an old hymn the choir used to sing when I was a very young teenager and began playing the piano for them…it was called, The Victor. I loved it. My favorite line was, He has done it! He has won it!” Hallelujah! Indeed He has. He IS the Victor, and because of that, I am, too. There is forgiveness, mercy, and grace because of, as you said, what Jesus came to do.

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  2. So interesting. I grew up thinking it was too late for me also. It didn’t matter what else I did in my life, it was simply too late. God was mad, and wanted to punish me. My go to day in and day out was to become invisible and try and stay below His radar.

    Thankfully, He found me one day and my life has never been the same.

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  3. In my denomination, it wasn’t “us” that was on the verge of damnation, it was everyone else because they didn’t know the true doctrine. I remember spending a whole day discussing the inevitable hell that homosexuals would face. At 14 years old, I went to bat for them because I couldn’t bear their cruel judgement. And at the end of the day, heads swayed in sadness therefore I hoped for an insurgence of empathy. But the doctrine didn’t change one whit. Not only for the homosexuals, but for everyone else. We were the only ones that would be sitting with Jesus and the best anyone else could hope for was a paupers glimpse into the throne room.

    I joined all the paupers and sinners, and went on an excursion to find out who God really was. I’m so very thankful for His heart which kept pressing me with the truth that He absolutely adores His creation – every last one. 😀

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