Pour

our
our

For I will pour water on him who is thirsty,

And floods on the dry ground;

I will pour My Spirit on your descendants,

And My blessing on your offspring

(Isaiah 44:3)

Our son and his wife and their two children moved into temporary housing this week. They now have a place of their own after being homeless all summer when their house (along with thousands of others) was flooded in Alberta. It’s a cramped two room trailer in a new neighbourhood of identical cramped trailers and a far cry from what they had, but they are thankful.

The children are back to school. Our granddaughter’s school yard is full of portable classrooms as it is also accommodating students who no longer have their own school buildings. One of those buildings was the beautiful new Catholic school, Holy Spirit Academy.

“We have to make room for Holy Spirit now,” she told me.

Indeed we do, sweetheart.

Jesus answered and said to her, “If you knew the gift of God, and who it is who says to you, ‘Give Me a drink,’ you would have asked Him, and He would have given you living water.”

The woman said to Him, “Sir, You have nothing to draw with, and the well is deep. Where then do You get that living water? Are You greater than our father Jacob, who gave us the well, and drank from it himself, as well as his sons and his livestock?”

 Jesus answered and said to her, “Whoever drinks of this water will thirst again, but whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him will never thirst. But the water that I shall give him will become in him a fountain of water springing up into everlasting life.” (John 4:10-14)

Bitter Fruit

Bitter plums
Bitter plums

I often wondered what “Be angry and do not sin,” meant. I hate feeling angry. I don’t like me when I’m angry. But sometimes rage just rises up and I don’t know what to do with it.

Sometimes anger flares up over seemingly trivial things, and I’m embarrassed by it. It’s like some poor soul accidentally stepped on a buried land mine from a forgotten war. I thought I had dealt with that, but I guess there was still something nasty there.

Anger is a secondary emotion. Anger is like a shockingly annoying siren screaming that something is wrong. A shameful weakness or secret  is about to be exposed, or somebody is demanding something I don’t want to part with, or something is removing my ability to choose how I will spend my time or resources. Sometimes the anger looks like righteous indignation on behalf of another person, often a child, but that’s because an incident triggers a memory of past hurts when no one seemed to notice or care about me either.

Anger can be an agent of grace when it signals an area that is still infected and still needs healing. Anger is an agent of grace when it motivates change for the better. It’s like the engine light flashing on the dashboard of the car. We don’t always know what’s wrong, or how to fix it, but we know it needs attention.

The problem with not attending to the real issue is that after time anger begins to congeal and solidify into bitterness. Bitter people are hard people. The Bible calls them stiff-necked, because they become stubborn in their resentment. Any endeavour we embark upon that has bitterness at its root is bound to produce bitter fruit. The quality of the fruit is dependent on the quality of the seed that is sown and the type of tree that grows from that seed.

We have a tree in our garden that starts off beautifully every spring. The blossoms that completely cover this plum tree draw attention from passers-by. It looks marvelous! But this time of year it draws complaints (especially from me) as it drops its inedible fruit and attracts vermin that don’t seem to mind its bitterness. I was just out there sweeping more bitter plums as they rolled, like on-top-of-spaghetti meatballs, down the sidewalk and onto the street.

fallen
fallen

Jesus warned his disciples about false prophets who would show up like ravenous wolves. They would look good at first -just like the other harmless sheep, but eventually their true nature would become evident. He said we could identify them by their fruit.

The fruit of bitterness shows up in words, bitter words. Anger leaves room for hope of change. Many crusades for justice in the world have been triggered by anger toward an incident that causes people to unite, rise up and say, “No more!”

Bitterness says, “What do you expect? It’s always going to be this way. They have all the power and influence. I am a perpetual victim of injustice. The rich get rich and the poor get poorer. It’s hopeless and God is either impotent or complicit in the whole thing,” or, “People are not obeying the rules! They should not be getting away with this. I’ve had to obey the rules all my life and nobody has ever rewarded me for it. But that’s way it goes, I guess.”

The bitter “prophet” loves to point out what is wrong, but cannot offer hope for change. They might talk about “should” but they have a harder time talking about “how.” They cling to the deeds of the law even though they resent the law themselves. Galatians says these are some of the fruits of that thinking: enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions and envyings.”

These are the things that cause people, some of them with great reputations who have been entrenched in churches for years, to reveal ravenous aggressiveness that would devour those who live in hope of changing into the likeness of Jesus Christ. They have lots of words to offer about why something won’t work, and what’s wrong with anybody who follows God zealously and does things differently, but they have few words of encouragement that urge the next generation to stretch and to pursue a relationship with God that goes farther than we have gone or to see greater works than our generation has seen.

Sometimes it’s the very folks who tell us they are the shepherds guarding us against all possible heresy who themselves attack the sheep with harsh words, criticism, gossip, disputes and slander. (And like ravenous wolves they tend to join up in packs and go after prey bigger than themselves.)

Our words need to be full of the same grace we have received from God. We need to give people room to grow and not condemn those who are still learning and not yet perfect. We need to gently correct with a humility that comes from willingness to be transparent about our own struggles, and build up and equip those coming behind us to be greater in the kingdom than anything we have imagined. Only by letting go of our own disappointments and bitterness through forgiveness, only by entering God’s presence through gratitude and praise for all His goodness, only by letting his healing light reveal those dark corners where hidden time-bombs of shame and pain and guilty secrets still lurk -and bringing them to Jesus for healing- can we be kind, tender-hearted, encouragers full of love.

Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil an opportunity. He who steals must steal no longer; but rather he must labor, performing with his own hands what is good, so that he will have something to share with one who has need. Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. (Ephesians 4:26-32)

L’Shanah Tovah!

Blessed Rosh HaShanah!

L'Shanah Tovah
L’Shanah Tovah

May all Adonai’s people have a sweet year.

May all people of the earth taste and see that the Lord is good.

Peace be upon you.

Lament: Pure Worship

Fire Season
Fire Season

The writers of the Psalms -especially David- were not afraid of emotion. They kept it real. Maybe that’s why I like the Psalms so much. Integrity is a quality I admire.

A beloved counsellor once confronted me for saying, “I shouldn’t feel this way.”

“Feeling emotion,” he said, “is no more shameful than feeling thirst. You don’t condemn yourself for being thirsty, do you? You can decide whether the thirst is something you can tolerate until a more convenient time to get a drink, or if you need to deal with it right now. You can analyze the cause of the thirst -are my blood sugars OK, or do I need to avoid salty food before long meetings- and make adjustments to behaviours in the future, but you don’t need to deny the reality of your thirst. You certainly would not be wise to ignore it forever. Emotions are like that; you can choose your response but there is no shame in feeling.”

So much of my life I was taught that I ought to hide sorrow. “Don’t bring everybody down.” “Sparkle, sparkle, little girl. Smile!”

Now I’m not talking about grumbling, complaining and sympathy seeking. I do believe you see what you focus on. I’m just talking about keeping it real and dropping the facade that everything is fine when it is not. The writers of the Psalms did not make a practice of speaking only of good times. They didn’t turn scripture around to make it say “speaking those things that are as if they are not.” They didn’t avoid other people -or God- when all was not going well and when they didn’t have an up-to-date “glorious testimony.”

But what they did do is take their pain and sorrow and turn it into worship. They lamented. They took what they had -their suffering- and offered it as praise.

It is in moments of excruciating pain and even deep personal regret that tragic heroes of stories and stage reveal insights that give us hope in the God who can change us into more than we thought we could be. The Bible honestly reveals the weaknesses of folks who struggled with faith and obedience in adverse circumstances.  The Bible includes their failures. The Bible includes laments.

Only a person living a transparent life can write:

I will say to God my Rock, “Why have You forgotten me? Why do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?’ As with a breaking of my bones, my enemies approach me, while they say to me all the day long, “Where is your God?”

And only a person living honestly has the ability to offer:

Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God; for I shall yet praise him, the help of my countenance and my God. (Psalm 42)

His dark season did not last forever, and God restored, but Job, after all he feared came upon him, after all other possible sources of happiness had been lost, was in a position to offer the most refined, distilled, pure worship of all, “Though he slay me, yet I will trust Him.”

“Lamentation does not deny the existence of pain; it does just the opposite, in fact. It actually involves worshipping God with that sorrow. What are the circumstances of your life? Are you in the winepress of God, being crushed like a grape?…

If you are in mourning, you have the opportunity to worship in the most powerful way possible –  lamentation. This worship isn’t done in order to have God remove the pain. It simply recognizes that God stands in the moment with us. Lamentation elevates God in the presence of our enemies.”

-Graham Cooke

Sometimes it is in the place of our deepest sorrow that the diamonds and rubies of true joy, formed over time under great pressure, are found.

God is good.

Save

Unearned

Unearned
Unearned

The past few days were unearned. I was a guest of people I care deeply about who own a magnificent three-story villa on a beautiful lake. When both they and my husband were called away by other obligations I had all three stories of luxury to myself to write, to meditate, to pray.

I didn’t own the villa. As a retiree there is no way I could afford a place like this. In fact, I could probably not afford to rent a place like this for even one night. It was a free gift. Other than cleaning up after myself and making sure the door was locked when I went out for a walk along the shore early in the morning I had no responsibilities toward its upkeep. My only obligation was to enjoy it.IMG_1573

Dusk on the Water
Dusk on the Water

And I did. I sat in the hot tub on the roof garden and contemplated the stars. I sat on the bench beside the lake and absorbed the pink sunset flickering in the water. I helped myself to peaches freshly plucked from a tree. I slept in a bedroom almost the size of my house. I even came to appreciate the fact that in the interest of interpersonal connectivity the owner disconnected from the internet. It was just me and God in that villa by the lake.

I felt the Lord saying, “Thus is my grace. It’s a gift. You have done nothing to earn my love. You can’t earn my love. Just sit in my presence and let me love on you a little longer.”

Today, back home, with responsibilities and guests of my own to minister to, I am aware that every breath I take is a gift and I am determined to enjoy His continued presence, for He has promised to never leave me. He is here.

Thank you,

thank you,

Day's End
Day’s End

thank you, Lord.

Keep looking down

Keep looking down.

IMG_0953 radium lookout

You’re seated with Christ in heavenly places.

There’s something about seeking Jesus that changes our perspective.  Often when we pray we try to explain the problem to God. When we don’t receive relief from unpleasant circumstances in the time and manner which seems logical to us we are tempted to go back to God and detail the problem again and beg for help. Perhaps we worry he is unaware of the seriousness of the situation and think that we can enlighten him.

I have been guilty of worrying at God, and then labeling it “my prayer time.” Apparently He is not all that impressed by my dramatic prognostications. “If this doesn’t happen soon, then that will happen and we’ll have an even bigger mess, so please answer right now, Lord.” I am slowly learning that as I spend time worshiping him he lifts me up to his perspective.

I read a quote by Ashley Brilliant that said, “Praise the Lord! But remember the Lord knows the difference between praise and flattery.”

I used to wonder why God needed praise. Was his ego so fragile he needed people to constantly boost him up? Was it to remind us of what lowly worms we were in comparison to Him? I’m embarrassed to admit my efforts at praise bore close resemblance to my efforts to butter my Daddy up before asking him for money when I was a kid.

One day after praying and thanking the Lord (quite genuinely this time) for miraculous ways he had intervened in my life even though I certainly didn’t deserve it, I put music on, closed my eyes and just listened. I had a vision of seeing the world from the viewpoint of an eagle. I felt like I was riding on the back of the eagle’s spread wings, soaring over incredibly rich forests, sparkling rivers and light-drenched coastlines in the warm low evening sun. I can’t describe the beauty.

Worship takes our eyes off ourselves, off our problems, and lets him take us up to a different perspective. He doesn’t need our validation to know who he is;  we need his to know who we are, and worship turns our eyes toward him.

But God, with the unfathomable richness of His love and mercy focused on us, united us with the Anointed One and infused our lifeless souls with life—even though we were buried under mountains of sin—and saved us by His grace. He raised us up with Him and seated us in the heavenly realms with our beloved Jesus the Anointed, the Liberating King. He did this for a reason: so that for all eternity we will stand as a living testimony to the incredible riches of His grace and kindness that He freely gives to us by uniting us with Jesus the Anointed. For it’s by God’s grace that you have been saved. You receive it through faith. It was not our plan or our effort. It is God’s gift, pure and simple. You didn’t earn it, not one of us did, so don’t go around bragging that you must have done something amazing. For we are the product of His hand, heaven’s poetry etched on lives, created in the Anointed, Jesus, to accomplish the good works God arranged long ago. (Ephesians 2:4-10 The Voice)

When we pray we can join with his plans, his solutions, from his perspective. Our current “impossible” circumstance may very well be the character-builder that leads to rich blessings for a future generation. Or it could be a ripe opportunity to see another aspect of God’s love and goodness that we have never seen before. It’s just hard to see the bigger picture when we are smack up against a fence that is 4 inches higher than our eyeballs.

“I don’t get it!” I cry. “I can’t see any way around this problem!”

“So come back up here,” Jesus offers.

“How do I get there again?” I ask.

“Enter my gates with thanksgiving in your heart. Enter my courts with praise. I am the one who lifts you up. This is where you belong.”IMG_0970

 

“Spirit wings,

You lift me over all the earthbound things

and like a bird my heart is flying free

I’m soaring on the song Your Spirit brings

O Lord of all You let me see a vision of Your majesty.

You lift me up, you carry me on your Spirit wings.”

(Claire Coninger and Michael Foster based on a poem by Madame Guyon)

Trans-Canada Dawn

When morning gilds the skies

my heart,

awakening,

cries,

May Jesus Christ be praised!

Transcanada Dawn
Trans-Canada Dawn

Sunrise over the Rocky Mountains in Banff National Park from the Trans-Canada Highway this morning.

Erupt with Thanks

IMG_0745 lake kootenay sunset rays boat

Erupt with thanks to the Eternal, for He is good

and His loyal love lasts forever.

Let all those redeemed by the Eternal—

those rescued from times of deep trouble—

join in giving thanks.

(Psalm 107:1,2 The Voice)