No pessimist ever discovered the secret of the stars,
or sailed to an uncharted land,
or opened a new doorway for the human spirit.
– Helen Keller
In Patient Hope I Rest
Through the dark and stormy night
Faith beholds a feeble light
Up the blackness streaking;
Knowing God’s own time is best,
In a patient hope I rest
For the full day-breaking!
– John Greenleaf Whittier
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Ponder Anew
Ponder anew what the Almighty can do,
If with His love He befriend thee.
(From translation of Lobe den Herren -Joachim Neander, 1680)
Sometimes I feel stuck. I go over and over a problem and come out the maze with the same inadequate solutions. It’s frustrating.
Today someone suggested that frustration might be a sign that the old solutions are inadequate. As a TV psychologist asks, “How’s that workin’ for ya?”
Well, thus far, it’s not.
The wisdom of the world is not up to the challenge.The wisdom of the world says prepare for sad surprises because this sort of thing never turns out well.
But the wisdom of the world does not take into account the One who can do more than we ask or think. In Christ we have a Friend whose love is beyond measure.
We need to ask bigger questions. We need to think bigger thoughts.
I’m going down to sit by the creek and ponder anew.
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Hope for the Betrayed
Some blog posts are written in crayon and some in blood. The process was not easy for this one. It was years in the making but full of reward. Blogging at Ishshah’s Story this week.
I’ve learned to pay attention when unusual co-incidences occur in my life. When the same book or the same topics pop up in random conversation and unexpected places I tend to wonder if there is a reason. The recurring topic this week was about people who have been deeply wounded by experiences in the church; the name that popped up is that of a man I haven’t thought about in years.
I was a naive sixteen-year old when I met him. He was the youth program director at church.
It was many years ago and I have long since forgiven, although forgiveness was not an easy or quick process. True forgiveness requires acknowledgment of the seriousness of the offense and I was in denial for a long time. I stumbled around until I found trustworthy people who could help.
Let’s just say he was not the person he wanted people…
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If I Ride the Wings of Morning
Well, this was unexpected. Who knew I would spend my 63rd number-changing day (as my little granddaughter calls it) in the throes of puberty, or reverse menopause (I’m not sure what to call it).
I’m on short-term intense hormonal therapy to try to fix a girl problem, well, okay, an older lady problem. And that’s all I have to say about that (which is probably too much.)
The result is a person, already subject to strong emotions, now awash in feelings. Irritability is the most … irritating. Having giggle fits with my adolescent granddaughter (also awash in hormonal emotion) may be the most fun.
It’s temporary and I can hang on for a few more weeks as long as I avoid political bait and debate and my husband doesn’t do anything worthy of inciting a riot, like chewing his popcorn too loud at the movies or humming The Marseillaise in a minor key.
I’ve been thinking about emotion and it’s place in our lives. I wonder if emotion is the response our soul makes when its nerve endings are touched. Some areas of our souls seem to be more sensitive than others. Some people just seem to feel emotion more intensely than others. It’s like having a high or low pain/pleasure threshold.
Some emotional stimulation feels wonderful and some feels absolutely horrid. The temptation is to either become addicted to “feel-good” triggers, wallow in the feel-bad triggers, or shut them all off as much as possible.
Alas, in the way people without pain receptors tend to lose limbs, people without emotion receptors tend to lose chunks of their souls. Compassion is often the first to go.
I love the Psalms because they are full of intense emotion, yet grounded in the reality of God’s sovereignty. David and the other writers shamelessly express feelings, yet they eventually submit them to God’s perspective and will.
Emotions are like scouts who bring reports back to headquarters. They are vital, but don’t let them make the final decisions. They tend not to see the entire picture.
David writes about highs and lows and our tendency to lose sight of God in our running about.
Can I go anywhere apart from Your Spirit?
Is there anywhere I can go to escape Your watchful presence?
If I go up into heaven, You are there.
If I make my bed in the realm of the dead, You are there.
If I ride on the wings of morning,
if I make my home in the most isolated part of the ocean,
Even then You will be there to guide me;
Your right hand will embrace me, for You are always there.
Even if I am afraid and think to myself, “There is no doubt that the darkness will swallow me,
the light around me will soon be turned to night,”
You can see in the dark, for it is not dark to Your eyes.
For You the night is just as bright as the day.
Darkness and light are the same to Your eyes.
For You shaped me, inside and out.
You knitted me together in my mother’s womb long before I took my first breath.
I will offer You my grateful heart, for I am Your unique creation, filled with wonder and awe.
You have approached even the smallest details with excellence;
Your works are wonderful;
I carry this knowledge deep within my soul.
You see all things; nothing about me was hidden from You
(Psalm 139: 7-15 The Voice)
Anyway, I just want to say on this day, that for all the pain and all the joy feeling intense emotion has brought me, thank You, Lord. You surround me and You ground me and You lift me up. Best of all You like what you created when You made me. Today, on my birthday, I celebrate You.
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Love Grows
Since love grows within you, so beauty grows.
For love is the beauty of the soul.
– Augustine
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Nations Make Their Plans; God Laughs
When you wake up in the middle of the night worried about how to cast a ballot you don’t have in a country you don’t live in you don’t have a problem; you have motivation to change.
There’s being a responsible citizen and there’s being an over-responsible citizen. As I child I felt like I carried responsibility for financial fiascos and relationship problems that were way out of my purview. I became hyper-vigilant – in other words fearful. I have been on a journey to freedom from being motivated by that kind of fear.
This week is a reminder that I have a way to go yet.
I see what’s happening here as people (like me) are desperate to have some sort of control over a situation that appears to be rapidly spiraling out of control. It reminds me of a loud argument between angry grown-ups going on in another room. The outcome of this argument could greatly affect the lives of everyone around them, but the grown-ups are not listening to anyone else. They are only reacting to each other.
It took a while but I have I learned that I am not helpless in situations like this. I can talk to God and know that even if people in positions of authority are not there for me, or even remember that I exist, He notices. He cares. He promises he will never stop loving. He says he will never leave or forsake me. He lets me rest on his lap and put my head on his chest and go to sleep in his arms with calm assurance that He is in charge.
The fear that comes in the night is not from him. He gives songs of joy in the night. He gives peace that is hard to understand because it is not subject to manipulation by people with agendas.
He’s not worried. Nations make their plans. God laughs.
You are wondering: What has provoked the nations to embrace anger and chaos?
Why are the people making plans to pursue their own vacant and empty greatness?
Leaders of nations stand united;
rulers put their heads together,
plotting against the Eternal One and His Anointed King, trying to figure out how they can throw off the gentle reign of God’s love,
step out from under the restrictions of His claims to advance their own schemes.
At first, the Power of heaven laughs at their silliness.
The Eternal mocks their ignorant selfishness.
But His laughter turns to rage, and He rebukes them.
As God displays His righteous anger, they begin to know the meaning of fear. He says,
“I am the One who appointed My king who reigns from Zion, My mount of holiness.
He is the one in charge.”
But blessings await all who trust in Him.
They will find God a gentle refuge. (from Psalm 2: 1-7 The Voice)
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Of Whom Shall I Be Afraid?
The Lord is my light and my salvation;
Whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the strength of my life;
Of whom shall I be afraid?
(Psalm 27:1)
Charis: Subject to Change 