Watch Your Step

Watch Your Step

It was the flash of gold that caught my eye that morning. The reflection of golden aspens on newly formed ice covering the pond beside the mountain road glowed with photographic potential. I turned around, found a place to park, looked around for signs of bears or wolves, then carefully found my way down the embankment. The scene was as wonderful as I had hoped.

I knew the nights had not been cold enough yet to make the ice safe to walk on. I learned that lesson early in life. My friend fell through the ice on the creek near our house when we were kids. Fortunately, we were near the edge and the only damage done was to her new patent leather shoes and the adults’ confidence in our wisdom. I had no intention of testing the ice this time.

I started looking for a good angle, but a cluster of bushes hindered me from getting that one perfect shot. I found a gap and stepped around them onto the edge of the bank. It gave way. I slid down to the water landing on the ice. It didn’t hold me. Suddenly I was knee deep in freezing cold water. Worse than that, the muddy boggy bottom oozed around my feet grabbing my boots and refusing to let go.

Eventually, I struggled out, grateful for overhanging branches and deadwood turned walking stick. Climbing back up the embankment, I wondered how I could have ignored the wet earth and sudden drop on the other side of the overhanging grass near the edge.

I didn’t see the hazard because my eyes were on the gold.

Every year, I ask God for a word that will describe the next learning season I am walking into. My attention has been drawn (several times) to the word “circumspectly” found in the NKJV translation of Ephesians 5: 15 & 16:

See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil.

Circumspect is not a word that shows up often in modern English conversation. It comes from the Latin circum “around, round about” and specere “to look.” The Greek word is akribos “exactly, accurately, diligently.” Many modern translations use the English word “carefully.”

The picture seems to mean that to walk circumspectly is to walk very carefully, placing steps precisely, while being aware of the atmosphere and surroundings, metaphorically (and perhaps literally) speaking.

I don’t believe that everyone is at the same point on their journey, or that what is pertinent to me is pertinent to everyone. I’m not saying this is a prophetic word for the world in 2024. Maybe it’s just for me, but perhaps some of you can relate. It doesn’t take a prophetic word from heaven for anyone who is familiar with scripture, and looking around with eyes to see, to understand we live in perilous times, times where even those with platforms and titles can trip up.

Someone once told me that if you think you can’t be deceived, you already have been. Deception and distrust magnify each other. We can accept the wrong things and miss the right things by being too naïve or too wary. We can talk ourselves into or out of almost anything when we are unaware of our own unexamined motivations. Temptation is custom-made by the father of all con men and the evil one does not play fair. There is a reason why the Lord’s prayer includes the plea, “And lead us not into temptation but deliver us from the evil one…

For me, walking circumspectly means listening to the still small voice saying, “Heads up! Pay attention. Proceed cautiously. Danger ahead. Lean on Me. I’ve got you.” It’s tempting to be distracted by the self-serving stuff, and by the seductive voice of the enemy of our souls. Not all attractive options spread before us are God’s ways. Without the wisdom and discernment he gives when we ask, and then applying it, we can find ourselves in a muddy bog before we know it.

I don’t know about you, but sometimes when I read reports and op-eds in the media from all manner of sources, I still don’t know who to believe even after employing research and critical thinking. When I see people I have admired exposed for serious misuse of power I am dismayed. I have questions!

Jesus said his sheep hear his voice. The book of Ephesians is full of God’s wisdom and advice on how to live wisely and walk circumspectly in this world where the evil one, although defeated, still has influence. God is good. He is not worried. He knows the way. Ask. Then follow through.

Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is. (Ephesians 5:17)

The Lord is reminding me these are days when I need wisdom and discernment more than ever.

How about you?

The Golden Egg

“Not every man can carry a full cup. Sudden elevation frequently leads to pride and a fall. The most exacting test of all to survive is prosperity.”

-Oswald Chambers

Real Time

orchard blooms DSC_0164

It’s 3:30 a.m. Instead of sleeping I am here, on the computer. I’m also eating some ridiculously expensive fat-free, dairy-free strawberry rhubarb ice cream which I stashed in the corner of the freezer for an auspicious occasion.

This is not an auspicious occasion. I can’t get back to sleep after I woke from a nightmare about being sealed in an MRI tube by people who lied to me about how long the procedure would take, and then forgot I was in there.

Fear is custom-designed.

Being stuck in an MRI machine that is several sizes too small happens to be a fear designed for me.  I have a scan scheduled for later this week. It doesn’t help to know doctors are looking for evidence of metastatic cancer in my liver. This is the faith journey in real time.

It would be so easy to say, “I am struggling with fear.” We often hear that expression, but when I hear someone say, “I am struggling with jealousy,” or “I’m struggling with pornography,” I want to respond, “No, you’re not. You are choosing to surrender to obsessive resentful thoughts about your colleague. You are not “struggling.” You are giving in to self-indulgent lustful curiosity via photographic image.”

It’s easy to be smug when other people’s temptations are not tempting to me. But I face my own temptations. The Bible says don’t you go accusing God of tempting you. Temptation only latches on to weird stuff you are already hoarding in the basement of your heart and secretly nurturing with strawberry rhubarb ice cream.

When you are tempted don’t ever say, “God is tempting me,” for God is incapable of being tempted by evil and he is never the source of temptation. Instead it is each person’s own desires and thoughts that drag them into evil and lure them away into darkness. Evil desires give birth to evil actions. And when sin is fully mature it can murder you! So my friends, don’t be fooled by your own desires! (James 1:13-16)

The first step to getting free from “the struggle” is to admit that it is there. The root of my fear is the lie that my heavenly Father is distracted by more attractive, more important, more rewarding relationships with his other children. Sometimes I feed that nasty monster in the basement bits of bitter memories of being forgotten and ignored and misdiagnosed and mistreated before. That’s when the devil and his minions say, “Oh. You’re bitter and scared. We can help you with that.”

The thing is, being mistreated and forgotten was not my heavenly Father’s doing in the first place. That was a result of the brokenness of people with their own ways of coping with pain caused by the one who comes to steal, kill and destroy. God was the one has consistently got me through those situations. He’s a good, good father. Jesus came to show us what he was really like – and I can’t imagine Jesus sealing me up in a noisy metal tube and leaving me there.

He delights in us. He wants relationship. Like the Lover in the Song of Songs he invites to come away and walk with him in a flowered spring orchard like the one I saw in the Okanagan this week.

The Bridegroom-King:
Arise, my dearest. Hurry, my darling.
Come away with me!
I have come as you have asked
to draw you to my heart and lead you out.
For now is the time, my beautiful one.

The season has changed,
the bondage of your barren winter has ended,
and the season of hiding is over and gone.
The rains have soaked the earth
and left it bright with blossoming flowers.
The season for singing and pruning the vines has arrived.
I hear the cooing of doves in our land,
filling the air with songs to awaken you
and guide you forth.

Can you not discern this new day of destiny
breaking forth around you?
The early signs of my purposes and plans
are bursting forth.
The budding vines of new life
are now blooming everywhere.
The fragrance of their flowers whispers,
“There is change in the air.”
Arise, my love, my beautiful companion,
and run with me to the higher place.
For now is the time to arise and come away with me.

(Song of Songs 2:10-13)

Okay. I’m putting away the ice cream now and choosing to evict the lie. I choose instead to be thankful for modern medical procedures that can give assurance that liver cells are doing what liver cells were intended to do or can diagnose hidden nastiness before it gets out of hand. I am thanking the Lord for his promise to never leave me and to heal not only my body, but my wounded heart. I’m choosing to give up the struggle and surrender to his love by putting my trembling hand in his big strong hand. He’s got this.

Don’t worry or surrender to your fear. For you’ve believed in God, now trust and believe in me also.  – Jesus (John 14:1 TPT)