When I look in a mirror I see the toll the years have taken. Like the woman in the Song of Solomon I have spent seasons toiling in the sun, and when I was young the only sun screen we had was baby oil and mother’s cautions to wear a hat. My cousins inherited glorious red hair; I just got the red head’s complexion, and spent many a summer’s night nursing a sunburn with a cold wet cloth. When I look in a mirror I don’t see fair.
I watched a professional photographer edit photos a while ago. I had seen her enhance lighting and subdue blushes on blushing brides before.
“People want to remember their wedding,” she said. “They don’t want to remember the giant zit that showed up on the end of their nose that morning. The zit was temporary. The love is permanent. The zit is not who they are. The zit goes,” and with one click it vanished.
This particular day she was processing a photo for her fiance’s professional biography. I watched from a distance to see if she would go photoshop crazy to idealize this man. She didn’t. She has much better equipment than I have, including a huge computer screen that will reveal the tiniest detail. She kept enlarging the photo until his eyes shone from one side of her screen to the other. Then she just stopped and stared.
“Look,” she said after a while.
“What do you see?” I asked.
“I see me,” she smiled.
I looked more closely and realized that bright spot was not a highlight. It was her own perfect image reflected in his eyes. She was concentrating on him when she took the photo, but the whole time all he saw was her, and in his eyes she was beautiful. She was the light in his eyes.
When we look at ourselves we see our flaws. We see the stupid zits in our character that may have vanished twenty years ago, but remain in our memory as freshly as if they were were still there. But when we look closely into the eyes of the Lover of our souls, the one who gave everything to show how much He loves us, the one who has promised to never leave us and who is incapable of lying or breaking a promise, we see ourselves as He sees us.
And He says, “Behold thou art fair, my love. Behold thou art fair.”
Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers. (3 John 1:2)
I returned from a trip once to discover one of my houseplants drooping over the sides of a clay pot on a shelf in the corner. Somehow “Violet” had been overlooked by the friend who watered the rest of the plants, brought the mail in and let the dog out. I poured water into the poor dry pot, then sorted through the pile of envelopes on the table. I turned around when I heard the sound of dripping on the floor. The water I had just poured into poor Violet flowed over the edge of the shelf and onto the floor leaving a grey puddle on the carpet. In her neglected state her desiccated soil lacked the ability to absorb anything. Her thirsty roots could not take hold of the water meant for her and instead it poured out the bottom.
Some people are like that. You can encourage and give and “pour into them” over and over, and they still droop — perpetually, it would seem. Kind words, generous deeds, encouraging actions –all seem to merely puddle on the floor, beneath them. Yet they crave more.
I confess I’m like that sometimes. I’m not just talking about difficulty receiving compliments, but about receiving the love God pours out on me. Sometimes it seems too good to be true and I’m sure that, given my history, He surely must be sick and tired of me, at least part of the time. I find it hard to receive.
I’ve been meditating on Ephesians 3 lately. This part caught my attention: “May you be rooted deep in love and founded securely on love that you may have the power and be strong to apprehend and grasp with all the saints [God’s devoted people, the experience of that love] what is the breadth and length and height and depth [of it];”
Paul’s prayer was that folks would have the power and strength to apprehend and grasp God’s love. It seems that being the recipient of God’s generous goodness requires strength. It requires exertion to hold it and keep it before it moves on.
When Violet couldn’t retain moisture I took her pot from the shelf and set it in a bowl of water for a couple of days until the soil drew it up and became saturated. In other words, she needed to soak in abundance for a while.
John addressed the familiar greeting and prayer for physical prosperity to his friend, Gaius. He said he knew Gaius’ soul already prospered because he walked in truth. He soaked in it.
Many of us lack prosperous souls because we have we have histories of feeling neglected. It’s hard to have your need for love met by parents raised by generations of parents who also suffered from love deficits. We have believed so many untruths, and been hurt or disappointed by so many people we ought to have been able to trust, that when the real thing comes along we don’t really believe it. We’ve been deceived by flattery before. We’ve had love withheld when we failed to measure up. We’ve been passed by as blessings and approval went to others. Neglect is so common, in fact, that religion has taught for centuries that we have to merit the merits of Christ. We assume love is meant for someone else but, as the song says, “not for me.” Religion always tries to qualify definitions of grace with a “yeah, but…”
Yesterday I listened to Bach’s setting of Mary’s prophetic song in Luke 1. One of my favourite songs of all times is Mary’s humble declaration, as J.B. Phillips translated it: “He has deigned to notice me.” (“Quia respexit humilitatem” in Bach’s version.) Mary was most blessed among women because she had the inner strength to accept and carry the ultimate expression of God’s love — His Son. Her response was one of praise.
Then Mary said, “My heart is overflowing with praise of my Lord, my soul is full of joy in God my Saviour, for he has deigned to notice me, his humble servant and, after this, all the people who ever shall be will call me the happiest of women! The one who can do all things has done great things for me—oh, holy is his Name! Truly, his mercy rests on those who fear him in every generation. He has shown the strength of his arm, he has swept away the high and mighty. He has set kings down from their thrones and lifted up the humble. He has satisfied the hungry with good things, and sent the rich away with empty hands. Yes, he has helped Israel, his child: he has remembered the mercy that he promised to our forefathers, to Abraham and his sons for evermore!” Luke 1:46-55
We will never be the vessels God designed us to be if we neglect to send our roots down deep into His love and learn to drink deeply. A productive life of beauty, pleasant fragrance, and good fruit is entirely dependent on learning to soak up God’s love, on responding to his attention and believing and knowing in an intensely intimate way that His love is not conditional or manipulative. His Love is Truth. Without his love flowing through every fiber of our being we droop. We starve in the midst of abundance.
When God said,”Be still (cease striving) and know that I am God,” in the middle of a Psalm about battle, he used the same word that described Adam’s relationship with Eve -an intimate, profound, restful knowledge.
A prosperous soul is a soul that knows it is deeply loved and cherished and can rest in that love. Everything else is poverty.
May He grant you out of the rich treasury of His glory to be strengthened and reinforced with mighty power in the inner man by the [Holy] Spirit [Himself indwelling your innermost being and personality].
May Christ through your faith [actually] dwell (settle down, abide, make His permanent home) in your hearts! May you be rooted deep in love and founded securely on love,
That you may have the power and be strong to apprehend and grasp with all the saints [God’s devoted people, the experience of that love] what is the breadth and length and height and depth [of it];
[That you may really come] to know [practically, through experience for yourselves] the love of Christ, which far surpasses mere knowledge [without experience]; that you may be filled [through all your being] unto all the fullness of God [may have the richest measure of the divine Presence, and become a body wholly filled and flooded with God Himself]!
Now to Him Who, by (in consequence of) the [action of His] power that is at work within us, is able to [carry out His purpose and] do superabundantly, far over and above all that we [dare] ask or think [infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, hopes, or dreams]—
To Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations forever and ever. Amen (so be it). (Ephesians 3:16-21 Amplified version)
As we enter a new year, my prayer for you is that you may prosper in all things and be in health -as your soul prospers. A blessed and prosperous New Year to you!
God is love. He loves you and sent His Son for you. Let that soak in for a while.
I didn’t intend to. In fact the only reason I went out with this guy, who was persistent enough to ask eight times, was to prove to him that we had nothing in common and that it would be colossally boring.
It wasn’t. He talked to me like I had a brain. All my male friends were boys I had grown up with; this was a man. That fact was kind of intimidating so I said goodnight and that was that. But…..later I needed an escort to a posh event with the opera company I was a part of and none of my male friends would be caught dead in a place like that. I was desperate so I asked him, and he obliged. One of the women at the reception asked me how I snagged a “gold key blazer man.” I didn’t even know what that was, but the fact she was impressed made me look again. He drove me home and we sat in the car and talked for hours. We went out several times after that. He bought me expensive gifts. He took me to fine restaurants. He introduced me to his friends who were in a different world than mine.
On Boxing Day, all those years ago, my brother and I were at our grandmother’s house. I remember being a bit of a grouch and not wanting to join in the usual annual family crokinole tournament. I overheard him ask Grandma, “Sheesh. What’s the matter with her?”
“Nothing,” Grandma said. “She’s just in love.”
I was a bit annoyed and then I realized, Oh my goodness! She’s right! I miss him and I would rather be with him than with my family on Christmas! Oh, no!
The “Oh, no!” was because I knew this demanded a response and would change my life and mess with my plans.
It did. But in a good way.
We’re still together and we still talk and talk on long drives to visit our grandchildren.
In the Bible God often uses the image of the bride and the suitor -in Song of Solomon, Isaiah, Hosea, and again in Revelation where He talks about returning for his bride.
I remember singing this old carol with a small ensemble in a concert once and the bass protested that He had no idea what the words meant or how it related to Christmas. Men sometimes have difficulty with the whole concept of being the object of God’s pursuit. Some of them become quite angry at songs they call “Jesus is my boyfriend songs.” My husband says it’s because men like to see themselves as the one who initiates. (I think the Lord obliges and uses other human experiences like Father/son and shepherd/lost sheep as well.)
The bride image is one I understand though. I hear the Lord throwing little pebbles at my window in the night and softly singing, “Come away with me.”
This ancient Cornish Christmas carol, “Tomorrow Will Be My Dancing Day,” reminds me that everything he did, from laying down his right to be recognized as the king of the universe, to washing the feet of his disciples, to laying down his life and conquering death was to pursue us and invite us to dance with him -because He is in love with us.
I just about jumped out of my skin when the dog lunged at the fence, barking with an authoritarian voice that clearly negated anything that sign said about being welcome. I paused by the shaking boards only long enough to snap a photo -and then I was out of there. If he wanted the entire lane to himself, that was fine with me. The sign said welcome, but something was missing.
Mixed messages may be difficult to read, but usually action barks louder than words.
One day I was expecting a student for a singing lesson, but I wasn’t sure if I would be on time because I planned to attend the funeral of an old acquaintance earlier in the afternoon. My student was a mature person I knew well, so I phoned her and said I would leave the door unlocked, and if I was a few minutes late she could just come in and practise.
Well, the funeral went on longer than I anticipated because so many people wanted to share what the dear departed soul meant to them. She was dearly loved and the boxes of tissue thoughtfully placed on the pews were passed between all her many friends and family. The last person to speak talked about how her door was always open to students who dropped by regularly for cookies and advice.
At that moment I suddenly remembered that although I left the door open for my student, I forgot to turn off the burglar alarm! It is partly a motion detector type alarm and wouldn’t go off if the unlocked door was opened, but it surely would if she walked into the living room where the piano was.
I looked at my watch and whispered my dilemma to the fellow sitting beside me. Poor guy. I caught him off guard and he guffawed loudly. Bad timing.
I wonder about the messages we give people. Sometimes the messages people intend to communicate are not, for various reasons beyond their control, perceived in the same spirit. Sometimes it’s an oversight, or bad timing. Sometimes words don’t match actions and people are rightly spooked. If folks preach love and grace, yet passers-by hear snarling disapproval or condemnation from the other side of the gate –well, no wonder they run away. If people implore others to come into their parlour and then scare the hide off them with alarms that scream “intruder alert,” they probably will not need to set another place at the table.
I used to do an exercise with students to demonstrate the importance of making sure your body communicated the same message as a song. I would ask them to touch their chin with their finger.
“Touch your finger to your chin like this,” I said, but then I deliberately touched my cheek. Nearly every one of them touched their cheek as I was demonstrating. A few looked confused or asked me to clarify. Rarely would someone actually do as I said and not as I did.
I usually went on to tell them if their face and shoulders looked morose, even if the song was joyful, the audience would go with morose. Actions carry greater authority as messengers than we realize.
How many prodigals are kept out of the Kingdom of God by the unlovely character of those who profess to be inside!
– Henry Drummond
It’s a pretty basic lesson, really. People will know if love is genuine or if they are being coerced or manipulated. Jesus said, “By this will all people know that you are my followers: if you have love for one another.”
“Abiding in the presence of God is learning to see Him in every situation.” -Graham Cooke
My faith has found a resting place,
Not in device nor creed;
I trust the Ever-living One,
His wounds for me shall plead.
I need no other argument,
I need no other plea;
It is enough that Jesus died,
And that He died for me.
-Eliza Hewitt, 1891
Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God. We have come to know and have believed the love which God has for us. God is love, and the one who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. By this, love is perfected with us, so that we may have confidence in the day of judgment; because as He is, so also are we in this world. There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love. (1 John 4:15-18)
God has a great sense of humour. He seems to get a kick out of sending his most powerful messages through some of the most unlikely people. He delights in annoying the religious establishment with folks my mom would call “characters.”
Amongst his own disciples Jesus included Simon the zealot and Matthew the tax collector. This was the equivalent of including a gun-totin’ anti-government survivalist and an IRS auditor on the same camping trip. That alone would be worth the price of admission just to hear conversations around the campfire.
I don’t imagine John the Baptist smelled that good, dressed as he was in camel-hair in the desert heat in pre-deodorant days. And some of those other messenger boys were pretty weird too. I have a feeling that if you had a gathering of Old Testament prophets it would look like a blooming asperger’s convention.
God’s habit of using the non-mighty makes me wonder if Samson looked more like Woody Allen’s Alvy Singer than Kevin Sorbo’s Hercules –and that’s why the Philistines demanded to know the source of his strength — because it obviously wasn’t his own steroids. (Judges 14)
Ehud, another unlikely hero whose name means “praise”, was sent to bring down a fat despot who oppressed the people. Ehud was left-handed. He was weak on the side where most soldiers were strong, but strong on the side where most other warriors were weak. His strength was overlooked and he walked right into Eglon’s bathroom with an unconventional weapon strapped to his thigh. Where armies could not rise up enough to free the people, a “weak” man could. (Judges 3)
Another time Barak told the judge Deborah that he would attempt to rid the country of the oppressor by going after Sisera only if she would go with him. She agreed, but said the victory would go to a woman. In that time, when women were regarded as property, this was humiliating to a man. The victory did go to a woman. The tent-wife Jael finished Sisera with the unconventional weapons of a tent-peg and hammer. (One scholar goes as far as saying the word used here implies Jael was a not even a regular wife, but a sex-slave captured from another people group. The lowest of the low.) (Judges 4)
Eowyn from Lord of the Rings reminds me of Jael and Deborah. The Nazgul had her pinned down and intimidated her with the known fact that he could not be killed by a man. She herself became the unexpected weapon when she removed her helmet and cried, “I am no man!” and thrust her sword into the enemy’s face.
I heard a story once of how a janitor became the leader of a group of high-powered CEOs when he bashed through the wall with his broom handle and rescued the entire group from a burning building. Because he had the knowledge of where the weak spot was in the wall and unconventional weapons, and wisdom and foresight to do what needed to be done, he became the instant leader.
The battle is heating up. Have you noticed? This very week powers of darkness twist communication and seek to divide and confuse people who are meant to be examples of love, grace, and freedom to live holy lives.
This song has been going through my head over and over for the past few days. (I’ve learned to pay attention to insistent songs that wake me up in the night.) It’s about those who dwell in the tents of the Lord, who are made strong by grace and carry the unconventional weapons of deeds of love and mercy.
Lead on, O King eternal,
the day of march has come;
henceforth in fields of conquest
your tents will be our home.
Through days of preparation
your grace has made us strong;
and now, O King eternal,
we lift our battle song.
Lead on, O King eternal,
till sin’s fierce war shall cease,
and holiness shall whisper
the sweet amen of peace.
For not with swords’ loud clashing
or roll of stirring drums
with deeds of love and mercy
the heavenly kingdom comes.
Lead on, O King eternal;
we follow, not with fears,
for gladness breaks like morning
where’er your face appears.
Your cross is lifted o’er us,
we journey in its light;
the crown awaits the conquest;
lead on, O God of might.
-Henry Smart
While men jockey for positions of power in government and church hierarchies, it is often the janitor in the elevator, the odd student, the refugee with limited language skills, the grandmother on her knees, and even the slave who become the generals in this fight against sin and unbelief that would block God’s goodness and hurt the ones He loves so much. Their weapons are not rhetoric or guns but whatever God has placed in their hands with which to demonstrate love and mercy. They receive their orders from the King of heaven himself and they follow Him alone. He has been bringing them through a tough school of preparation, teaching them to respond to his grace, live holy lives and rely on His faithfulness.
Over them, gladness breaks like morning, because they look to his face. The joy of the Lord is their strength.
For you see your calling, brethren, that not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called. But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty; and the base things of the world and the things which are despised God has chosen, and the things which are not, to bring to nothing the things that are, that no flesh should glory in His presence. But of Him you are in Christ Jesus, who became for us wisdom from God—and righteousness and sanctification and redemption— that, as it is written, “He who glories, let him glory in the Lord.” (1 Corinthians 1)
I would love to have the satisfaction of knowing that I am right. There is a wonderful sound a golf ball makes when it falls in the hole after a long putt. Being right feels like that sound.
But sometimes I miss it. Sometimes I miss it so badly I’m not even on the right fairway. Sometimes I’m on the green in one and then…, putt, putt, putt, putt…
Some things in the Bible are crystal clear -like the fact that God loved us so much he gave his only son so that anyone who believes in him could be saved.
Other things are not so clear. My understanding requires constant correction.
Depending on where you are standing the reflections in a pond might appear differently to different people. The chapter that talks about love (placed in the middle of instructions on how to properly use the gifts/tools that the Father has given us to build each other up and encourage fellow travellers on this road) says that what we perceive this side of being face to face with perfection is like seeing a blurred reflection. It uses the word ainigma -a riddle or puzzle to be pursued.
It’s frustrating. I want that satisfaction of having clear instructions. I want to know I am right -frankly so I can “prove” to others that they are wrong -and maybe “fix” them by goading them with a cattle-prod of truth. How can I poke anyone (or bludgeon or whip or tear down) with blurry understanding of details?
Ainigma
For now we are looking in a mirror that gives only a dim (blurred) reflection [of reality as in a riddle or enigma], but then [when perfection comes] we shall see in reality and face to face! Now I know in part (imperfectly), but then I shall know and understand fully and clearly, even in the same manner as I have been fully and clearly known and understood by God]. (1 Corinthians 13:12 Amplified)
One night, after a frustrated prayer asking for exact directions, I heard a still, almost silent voice, “If I showed you where I was going with this it would remove the element of faith.” (If you don’t believe that God talks to ordinary imperfect people sometimes, then you may just want to move along. This is not the blog for you.)
The point of asking riddles is to keep a person engaged. The Lord wants a closer relationship with us. When we have glimpses of another way in which he expresses himself we have the option of pursuing that fleeting flicker of colour or turning back to the world of black and white where everything appears to be more decently in order.
I wonder too, if this pursuit of the Holy in blurred reflections requires us to admit we don’t know everything and that very act of humility draws us closer to the One who does know everything. I wonder if it is in those teachable moments of meekness that we can hear his voice most clearly, that he whispers his secrets to us.
It’s His kindness that leads us to change how we think.
“What is the price of five sparrows—two copper coins? Yet God does not forget a single one of them.And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows.” (Luke 12:6,7)
Charis: Subject to Change 