Tag: confession

Clean

On By Charis PsalloIn Man made, PhotographyLeave a comment

I love a clean house. I hate cleaning.

At various times in my life, I have hired people to clean for me. The problem is, they could never organize for me. I would need a staff for that, and even then it’s hard for them to read my mind.

I never noticed until it was time to pack up to move, that I am a collector of cleaning products – especially the ones that promise less scrubbing and heaven by way of the shower door. Somehow, I thought that by buying all these spray bottles and magic cloths I was creating the potential for spotless bliss.

The problem with that plan was this: Stuff must be moved, cleaning products must be applied and removed, and stuff needs to be dusted/washed/polished before being put back in a better place. All of this requires my participation. It was easier to give everything a quick flick of a damp rag, throw stuff I didn’t know what to do with in the storage room, turn off the light, shut the door, and get on with life.

I realize now that the storage room could be a symbol of every out-of-order thing in my life that I never got around to dealing with, until it threatened to avalanche into the living areas. When it was time to move, I felt overwhelmed. No one could do it for me and yet I couldn’t do it all myself. I had to ask for help.

My life has tended to have pockets of denial where broken, dirty, and embarrassing things collect. It’s easy to try to keep denying their existence until someone wants to look in all the dark corners – someone like Jesus.

Here’s the thing. God forgives because of Jesus, but when sin clutter spills out and blocks the way between us, communication is hindered. It’s hard to be perfectly, nakedly, candidly honest before the Lord when you are struggling to keep sin hidden. John the Beloved wrote about it this way:

Here, then, is the message which we heard from him, and now proclaim to you: GOD IS LIGHT and no shadow of darkness can exist in him. Consequently, if we were to say that we enjoyed fellowship with him and still went on living in darkness, we should be both telling and living a lie. But if we really are living in the same light in which he eternally exists, then we have true fellowship with each other, and the blood which his Son shed for us keeps us clean from all sin. If we refuse to admit that we are sinners, then we live in a world of illusion and truth becomes a stranger to us. But if we freely admit that we have sinned, we find God utterly reliable and straightforward—he forgives our sins and makes us thoroughly clean from all that is evil. For if we take up the attitude “we have not sinned”, we flatly deny God’s diagnosis of our condition and cut ourselves off from what he has to say to us. (1 John 1:5-9 Phillips)

Confession means admitting we have a sin problem. God forgives and cleanses us, but we need to be bravely honest and ask him to take away all the junk hidden in our hearts. I love a clean house, but a clean heart even more.

Creative Meditations for Lent, Word prompt: Clean

Presumption

On By Charis PsalloIn Black and white, Man made, Photography, UncategorizedLeave a comment

Building up
Building up and knocking down

I’ve been cleaning house in preparation for Christmas.

OK, the truth is I needed to mail some presents and by the time we dragged out the boxes of tree decorations and cards with mismatched envelopes and holly jolly wrinkled wrap the place was a disaster. I had to get Grampie to move the portable table saw and the camping equipment out first to get at it and that led to a multitude of forgotten junk, old toys and sports equipment from years past spilling out of the tiny storage room under the stairs as well. I had no choice; there was no hiding this stuff. Some thingys had been there so long we forgot we had them and had gone out and bought new thingys when we needed them. Six air mattresses. Really?

So I have been cleaning and sorting and hauling stuff to the thrift shop.

In the middle of my trying to pare down Grampie brought home a big box of wooden blocks he found at a going-out-of business sale. Since we have four grandchildren under the age of three and a half — soon to be five grandchildren– the purchase of blocks does make sense. They love to build to build castles and high towers. Well, some like to build up –and some cannot resist knocking down. They don’t always have the same plans. The little boys especially presume the whole point of building blocks is the satisfying crashing sound they make when they plow through a structure in their stocking feet. That’s when we need to talk about understanding that we need to find out if the other kid wanted their tower knocked down or not. Pay attention. Listen. Usually an adult suggests a plan and gets the kids working together on a project. When it’s done they can all knock it down.

As I was cleaning and sorting, looking for a place to put them, it seemed like a good time to do a little spiritual house cleaning too, what with all the reminders of advent and John the Baptist and repentance and preparing the way and all that, so I asked the Lord to show me any hidden sins –you know, like in the song, “Create in me a clean heart, Oh Lord, and renew a right spirit within me, and see if there be any hurtful way in me.”

Sigh. Dangerous prayer. When I decided to deal with the obvious, other junk I had forgotten about just kept pouring out of my heart closet.

OK, the need to confess sins of omission and sins of commission I understand; some hidden ones in my blind spot became painfully obvious too. Not fun, but God is quite willing to forgive when we are willing to agree with him and it feels good to be clean. Then I ran across this verse about presumptuous sins.

Who can discern his errors?
Declare me innocent from hidden faults.
 Keep back your servant also from presumptuous sins;
let them not have dominion over me! (Psalm 19: 12, 13)

I asked a few people who seem to be a little further ahead on the road than I what they thought it meant.

A kind, wise woman answered, “The sin of presumption is thinking  Jesus came to fulfill our plans rather than that He came to equip us to fulfill his.”

I like this. I need to remember to ask God what His plans are before I go barging through something he is building up -or before I scramble to fix something he is tearing down. I need to ask him what his priorities are, then take the blocks he gives me and work alongside him. Like my husband says, “God’s a good listener, but he doesn’t take direction well.”

Sorry, Lord. Thank you for forgiving me.

At a standstill

On By Charis PsalloIn Animals6 Comments

I was praying:

Lord, I don’t get it! I just don’t get it!

This world is such a confusing place and threats have come from all directions and in my zeal I’ve done some stupid things.

I’m sorry.

I’ve come running to you and asked for forgiveness, like you said.

I’m trying to follow you, to stay close to you, to listen to you, but I feel like I don’t have a sense of direction.

I know you have been helping me grow spiritually but now I don’t know what I’m supposed to do next.

I’m at a standstill.

I feel hemmed in.

Stifled.

I feel like I don’t have a vision for the future.

It’s as if there’s a kind of darkness around me.

What is this place?

Then I heard Himself speak in my spirit: Under my wings.

Photo: Canada geese by the lake yesterday

Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
    will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
 I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
    my God, in whom I trust.”

Surely he will save you
    from the fowler’s snare
    and from the deadly pestilence.
 He will cover you with his feathers,
    and under his wings you will find refuge.

Psalm 91:1-3