Lament: Pure Worship

Fire Season
Fire Season

The writers of the Psalms -especially David- were not afraid of emotion. They kept it real. Maybe that’s why I like the Psalms so much. Integrity is a quality I admire.

A beloved counsellor once confronted me for saying, “I shouldn’t feel this way.”

“Feeling emotion,” he said, “is no more shameful than feeling thirst. You don’t condemn yourself for being thirsty, do you? You can decide whether the thirst is something you can tolerate until a more convenient time to get a drink, or if you need to deal with it right now. You can analyze the cause of the thirst -are my blood sugars OK, or do I need to avoid salty food before long meetings- and make adjustments to behaviours in the future, but you don’t need to deny the reality of your thirst. You certainly would not be wise to ignore it forever. Emotions are like that; you can choose your response but there is no shame in feeling.”

So much of my life I was taught that I ought to hide sorrow. “Don’t bring everybody down.” “Sparkle, sparkle, little girl. Smile!”

Now I’m not talking about grumbling, complaining and sympathy seeking. I do believe you see what you focus on. I’m just talking about keeping it real and dropping the facade that everything is fine when it is not. The writers of the Psalms did not make a practice of speaking only of good times. They didn’t turn scripture around to make it say “speaking those things that are as if they are not.” They didn’t avoid other people -or God- when all was not going well and when they didn’t have an up-to-date “glorious testimony.”

But what they did do is take their pain and sorrow and turn it into worship. They lamented. They took what they had -their suffering- and offered it as praise.

It is in moments of excruciating pain and even deep personal regret that tragic heroes of stories and stage reveal insights that give us hope in the God who can change us into more than we thought we could be. The Bible honestly reveals the weaknesses of folks who struggled with faith and obedience in adverse circumstances.  The Bible includes their failures. The Bible includes laments.

Only a person living a transparent life can write:

I will say to God my Rock, “Why have You forgotten me? Why do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?’ As with a breaking of my bones, my enemies approach me, while they say to me all the day long, “Where is your God?”

And only a person living honestly has the ability to offer:

Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God; for I shall yet praise him, the help of my countenance and my God. (Psalm 42)

His dark season did not last forever, and God restored, but Job, after all he feared came upon him, after all other possible sources of happiness had been lost, was in a position to offer the most refined, distilled, pure worship of all, “Though he slay me, yet I will trust Him.”

“Lamentation does not deny the existence of pain; it does just the opposite, in fact. It actually involves worshipping God with that sorrow. What are the circumstances of your life? Are you in the winepress of God, being crushed like a grape?…

If you are in mourning, you have the opportunity to worship in the most powerful way possible –  lamentation. This worship isn’t done in order to have God remove the pain. It simply recognizes that God stands in the moment with us. Lamentation elevates God in the presence of our enemies.”

-Graham Cooke

Sometimes it is in the place of our deepest sorrow that the diamonds and rubies of true joy, formed over time under great pressure, are found.

God is good.

Save

Keep looking down

Keep looking down.

IMG_0953 radium lookout

You’re seated with Christ in heavenly places.

There’s something about seeking Jesus that changes our perspective.  Often when we pray we try to explain the problem to God. When we don’t receive relief from unpleasant circumstances in the time and manner which seems logical to us we are tempted to go back to God and detail the problem again and beg for help. Perhaps we worry he is unaware of the seriousness of the situation and think that we can enlighten him.

I have been guilty of worrying at God, and then labeling it “my prayer time.” Apparently He is not all that impressed by my dramatic prognostications. “If this doesn’t happen soon, then that will happen and we’ll have an even bigger mess, so please answer right now, Lord.” I am slowly learning that as I spend time worshiping him he lifts me up to his perspective.

I read a quote by Ashley Brilliant that said, “Praise the Lord! But remember the Lord knows the difference between praise and flattery.”

I used to wonder why God needed praise. Was his ego so fragile he needed people to constantly boost him up? Was it to remind us of what lowly worms we were in comparison to Him? I’m embarrassed to admit my efforts at praise bore close resemblance to my efforts to butter my Daddy up before asking him for money when I was a kid.

One day after praying and thanking the Lord (quite genuinely this time) for miraculous ways he had intervened in my life even though I certainly didn’t deserve it, I put music on, closed my eyes and just listened. I had a vision of seeing the world from the viewpoint of an eagle. I felt like I was riding on the back of the eagle’s spread wings, soaring over incredibly rich forests, sparkling rivers and light-drenched coastlines in the warm low evening sun. I can’t describe the beauty.

Worship takes our eyes off ourselves, off our problems, and lets him take us up to a different perspective. He doesn’t need our validation to know who he is;  we need his to know who we are, and worship turns our eyes toward him.

But God, with the unfathomable richness of His love and mercy focused on us, united us with the Anointed One and infused our lifeless souls with life—even though we were buried under mountains of sin—and saved us by His grace. He raised us up with Him and seated us in the heavenly realms with our beloved Jesus the Anointed, the Liberating King. He did this for a reason: so that for all eternity we will stand as a living testimony to the incredible riches of His grace and kindness that He freely gives to us by uniting us with Jesus the Anointed. For it’s by God’s grace that you have been saved. You receive it through faith. It was not our plan or our effort. It is God’s gift, pure and simple. You didn’t earn it, not one of us did, so don’t go around bragging that you must have done something amazing. For we are the product of His hand, heaven’s poetry etched on lives, created in the Anointed, Jesus, to accomplish the good works God arranged long ago. (Ephesians 2:4-10 The Voice)

When we pray we can join with his plans, his solutions, from his perspective. Our current “impossible” circumstance may very well be the character-builder that leads to rich blessings for a future generation. Or it could be a ripe opportunity to see another aspect of God’s love and goodness that we have never seen before. It’s just hard to see the bigger picture when we are smack up against a fence that is 4 inches higher than our eyeballs.

“I don’t get it!” I cry. “I can’t see any way around this problem!”

“So come back up here,” Jesus offers.

“How do I get there again?” I ask.

“Enter my gates with thanksgiving in your heart. Enter my courts with praise. I am the one who lifts you up. This is where you belong.”IMG_0970

 

“Spirit wings,

You lift me over all the earthbound things

and like a bird my heart is flying free

I’m soaring on the song Your Spirit brings

O Lord of all You let me see a vision of Your majesty.

You lift me up, you carry me on your Spirit wings.”

(Claire Coninger and Michael Foster based on a poem by Madame Guyon)

Consuming Fire

IMG_0119

There must be more than this
O breath of God, come breath within
There must be more than this
Spirit of God we wait for You
Fill us anew we pray
Fill us anew we pray
Consuming fire
Fan into flame
A passion for Your name…

(from Consuming Fire by Tim Hughes)

It’s much easier to pray for God’s consuming fire to come and purify our hearts before we have experienced how intensely uncomfortable that process can be. Isaiah agonized,”Woe is me! I am undone! Everything that has come out of my mouth is filth!” when confronted with the holiness of God.

This is not a prayer for dutiful gatherings of people to sing casually without thought, or for those looking for an easy life.

This is not a prayer for those who only seek God when they want relief from suffering or think following Jesus means he will buy them a colour TV and fill their freezers with microwaveable dinners.

Jesus Christ’s pure love shines a light on our acceptance of ugly unholiness in ourselves as only-human-normality and reveals putrefied only-human-depravity. His Holiness confronts it with the intensity of a burning laser. His relentless kindness and gentleness provide the burning coal that purifies and leads us to change, but it is not a happiness-all-the-time experience. Sometimes the reality of living in the light of pure love that leads to life-changing Godly sorrow (and not merely hopeless self-pity) results in brokenness and bitter weeping before the joy of closer friendship with the Lover of our Souls.

This prayer is only for those who dare to hope that knowing Him is better than life.

From Dawn to Dusk

From my deck this evening:

See You Later
See You Later

Hallelujah!

You who serve God, praise God!

Just to speak his name is praise!

Just to remember God is a blessing—

now and tomorrow and always.

From east to west, from dawn to dusk,

keep lifting all your praises to God!

(Psalm 113:3  Msg)

Whole hearted

Red Peony
Red Peony

I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart;

I will recount all of your wonderful deeds.

I will be glad and exult in you;

I will sing praise to your name, O Most High.

(Psalm 9:1,2)

Presumptuous

I hear the people calling, “We want more of you, God!”

I hear God whispering, “I want more of you, people.”

Big Sky, Little House
Big Sky, Little House

Who can discern his errors? Acquit me of hidden faults.
 Also keep back Your servant from presumptuous sins;
Let them not rule over me..

(Psalm 119:12,13a)

Presumptuous sin: Calling on God to fulfill our plans instead of our being willing to lay down all we have to fulfill His.

Correction

strawflower blur

It’s hard to touch my eye without flinching.

It’s hard to open my suspicious eye

to receive the lens on finger inching

toward the center of the light that my

unyielding lid wants merely to protect.

I know without the help of lens to mend

I can, at best, perceive an imperfect,

blurred version of what You, my clear-eyed Friend,

can see without deform. I steel my nerve

against the fear of rumoured pain which all

my disappointment says that I deserve.

I want to shed the doubt that makes me stall.

 

Forgive me when I shut You out. I think,

in time, that when You touch me, I won’t blink.

strawflower 3DSC_0201

My child, do not ignore the instruction that comes from the Lord, or lose heart when He steps in to correct you;  For the Lord disciplines those He loves, and He corrects each one He takes as His own.   (Hebrews 12:5 The Voice)

The Time of Singing Has Come

Dawn on the Sea of Galilee
Dawn on the Sea of Galilee

I woke early and went down to the lake. In the spring, Israel is full of migrating birds who greet the dawn with song. Their singing is like a great chorus in a sky-domed cathedral giving glory to God as the light grows brighter.

My beloved spoke, and said to me:
“Rise up, my love, my fair one,
And come away.
 For lo, the winter is past,
The rain is over and gone.
 The flowers appear on the earth;
The time of singing has come,
And the voice of the turtledove
Is heard in our land.
 The fig tree puts forth her green figs,
And the vines with the tender grapes
Give a good smell.
Rise up, my love, my fair one,
And come away!

(Song of Solomon 2)

Love has no limit

snowy juniper

Love knows no limit to its endurance,

no end to its trust,

no fading of its hope;

it can outlast anything.

It is, in fact, the one thing that still stands

when all else has fallen.

(1 Corinthians 13: 7,8)