He that has light within his own clear breast may sit in the centre, and enjoy bright day.
John Milton
Morning Glory
Tag: inspiration
In Time
Sometimes I hear God’s voice in unexpected places. Popular music is one of them. I wrote about it here. (Hearing God’s Voice Through Music). This morning I woke with a song in my head. It’s not one that’s on any of my play lists, but it was insistent, so I paid attention.
Recently I’ve been asking myself why it is sometimes so easy to set a God-given dream aside to collect dust for years. I could say that I’ve been distracted by the cares of life or that I chose to support another person’s dream because I believed it was a worthy and lofty dream. But I think, to be honest, after listening to the song, the Lord is telling me something. I have set the dream aside because taking steps to walk with God toward the dream he put in my heart takes courage. And I have been afraid –afraid of success, afraid of failure, afraid of what critics will think, afraid of letting friends down, afraid of letting God down, afraid of standing alone in the no man’s land in the middle of the social and political and factioned church battles we find ourselves in.
Mariah Carey’s song is called “Hero.” One of the most profound questions we can ask God is “Who do you see when you look at me?” For many years, I assumed the answer to that question was “a sinner saved by grace.” I was wrong.
It can be rather shocking when we hear his answer. It’s easy to dismiss it as a figment of an over-zealous ego. When he approached the cowardly Gideon hiding down in a winepress to thresh grain, the angel of the Lord called the guy who thought he held the lowest status in the country, “Mighty Warrior.” Gideon’s response was the equivalent of looking around and saying, “You talkin’ to me?” The way God sees us is much better than the way we see ourselves. Frankly, I discovered, the hard way, that talking about it to friends who don’t understand how God sees them can bring about a jealous response the way Joseph discovered what jealous people can do when he told his brothers about his dream of sheaves of wheat bowing to him. Candour is risky business. Very risky. But maybe it’s step one in trusting God.
As we grow in grace, God reveals more of how he sees us. I’ve been praying about an updated version of what I call an identity statement (similar to an artist’s statement). When I heard “hero” I felt like Gideon must have felt. I feel like the last person on earth that term could apply to. Then I remember that years ago the Lord spoke to me through the book of Hosea: “‘It will come about in that day,’ declares the Lord, ‘That you will call Me Ishi and will no longer call Me Baali.'” (Hosea 2:16) Ishi means hero/savior/husband. Baali means master.
It’s about relationship. Through his kindness, his gentle alluring, he has replaced the harsh image of himself as an impossible taskmaster with the image of my hero, my saviour, and the lover of my soul.
We become what we focus on. If my focus is on other humans who have merely a piece of the picture, I can, at best, become a faint copy of their traits, both good and bad. If I focus on the one who is my hero, getting to know him in a deeper sense, I will eventually become more heroic like him.
Jesus’ road to hero status involved laying down his right to respect in the ultimate demonstration of humility, but he never let go of the dream to save us and re-connect us with the Father who created us. For the joy set before him, he endured the cross.
I am very well aware of my tendency to back away when intimidated, to withdraw when stressed, and to try to change who the Lord created me to be to fit in with other people in a desire to belong (what Brené Brown calls the opposite of belonging). On my own, I can’t pursue this dream, but Jesus stood up to injustice. He’s the shepherd who goes after the lost lamb. He pulled me from a pit of guilt and shame and sang a song of grace over me. He invited me –fearful, shame-ridden, voiceless me– to partner with him to set the prisoners of spiritual abuse free. He lives in me. In a world of disappointing would-be heroes, he is my only hope.
This whole thought is too much for me, but I choose to trust him.
And then a hero comes along with the strength to carry on and you cast your fears aside…
Share this:
Give Them a Chance
My friend gave me some seed she collected after I complimented her garden last summer. It amazes me to see what can grow from an ugly tiny brown thing in an envelope. I didn’t think I could grow zinnias in a pot on my balcony, but I planted and watered them anyway. Now look.
May the Lord grant us the ability to see the beauty in people when they are still in their unimpressive stage. May we give them a chance anyway.
Share this:
The Mark of True Maturity
You are always and dearly loved by God! So robe yourself with virtues of God, since you have been divinely chosen to be holy.
Be merciful as you endeavor to understand others, and be compassionate, showing kindness toward all.
Be gentle and humble, unoffendable in your patience with others.
Tolerate the weaknesses of those in the family of faith, forgiving one another in the same way you have been graciously forgiven by Jesus Christ.
If you find fault with someone, release this same gift of forgiveness to them. For love is supreme and must flow through each of these virtues.
Love becomes the mark of true maturity.
Colossians 3:12-14 TPT
Many of us long to be understood. We want to explain the background behind the reasons for our actions. As I often told my children, and now my grandchildren, an explanation is the history behind a decision. It is not necessarily the validation of a decision. An explanation is an explanation, not an excuse. Whether we hurt someone intentionally or unintentionally, their pain is still pain.
A young child hits back. A mature adult doesn’t need to.
Somedays I need to do an accounting. I need to remember times when I have been forgiven for doing or saying things meant to hit back. I write down memories of times when grace was extended to me for my graceless acts of immaturity. I give thanks for people who showed me kindness when I was flailing in pain, striking out at anyone I perceived as a potential threat and when it seemed only the foolish would trust again. Instead, they gently, humbly, and patiently demonstrated God’s true nature.
When I look at the people who have had the greatest effect on healing the deep wounds in my heart, they are all people God brought into my life to show me there was such a thing as love that was not self-serving. They made time. They listened. They were not put off by my raging. They were not afraid of how being associated with me would make them look. They made it possible to believe in more than the disappointing behaviour I had seen demonstrated by immature or false Christians. They showed me the kind of love that drives away fear and nurtures fertile ground for faith to grow.
On these accounting days, when I look, when I see, when I understand how costly it was to love someone in as much pain as I used to be, how can I justify offering less mercy than I have received?
Today I am thankful for the mature ones who patiently extended love to nurture my spiritual growth. Twenty years ago, when I told one of them I was losing faith, he said he would hold onto faith for me because he knew I would eventually begin to comprehend how much God loved me.
I want to be like Jesus because that guy let me see Jesus in him.
Share this:
Startled
“Lord, catch me off guard today. Surprise me with some moment of beauty or pain so that at least for the moment, I may be startled into seeing that you are here in all your splendor, always and everywhere, barely hidden, beneath, beyond, within this life I breathe.”
Frederick Buechner
Share this:
Bold
I needed signs of spring. I needed colour! As I write this, much of Canada is still snow covered and a blizzard is whiting out the prairies. Here in the Okanagan, spring arrives sooner than in most of the land, but even here it is late this year.
One of the first wild flowers to bloom in the drier parts of British Columbia is Balsam Root. I saw these bright yellow blossoms on a hill basking in the sun, but it was hard to get there. I went looking for some I could get closer to, but very few were blooming elsewhere yet. Instead I went to a garden shop and took photos of flowers that are too fragile to plant outside yet. They were very pretty, but there is something special about the wild ones.
Yesterday, as I drove in the rain, I saw a cluster of familiar blooms near the edge of the country road. I was hoping for bright sunny flowers on a bright sunny blue sky day, but as I checked out the images on my cell phone later, I was impressed by the contrast.
This is what they said to me: Sometimes you don’t fit in because you are not supposed to. Sometimes the brave, the bold, the courageous, and the strong ones who anticipate change embarrass the sheltered and subdued by bursting out in summer colour while winter still lingers on the edge of a dull cold day.
The first people to move into something new need to be strong. They need to know how get their approval from God because there are plenty of critics to point out what could go wrong. They need to be courageous because they face uncertainties without sure-footed examples to follow.
When someone says, “Be brave!” or “Have courage!” I must admit my first reaction is, “Why? Is this going to hurt? It’s going to hurt, isn’t it?”
Then I hear my Lord’s voice saying, “It’s not going to hurt as much as staying where you are, mired in discouragement like this.”
Someone I love told me she feels the Lord is telling her to “have courage.” Her reaction is much the same as mine was before the Lord took me on a roller coaster ride that ended brilliantly. The ride did require faith and some uncomfortable “illogical” standing out at times, but God certainly was with me in every twist and turn and rise and fall. He brought me safely through.
As we spoke, it also reminded me of the time God spoke to Joshua before he led a band of people who knew only the daily-ness of the same old same old. “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous,” he said to the man who inherited Moses’ role. “Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
The season is changing. Be strong. Be courageous. Don’t be afraid to stand out.
Share this:
Unlock My Heart
Lord God, unlock my heart, unlock my lips,
and I will overcome with my joyous praise!
For the source of your pleasure is not in my performance
or the sacrifices I might offer to you.
The fountain of your pleasure is found
in the sacrifice of my shattered heart before you.
You will not despise my tenderness
as I bow down humbly at your feet.
Psalm 51:15-17 TPT
There’s a setting on the photo editing software I use that lets me make a kaleidoscope-style image using bits and pieces from my own photos. The photo I used here was of a barren tree in a snow-covered field at sunset. It feels like spiritual transformation to me.
Have you noticed that God gave many people their assignments in his Kingdom when they were at their lowest? God is more impressed by our willingness to offer him the broken pieces of our failures than the efforts that made us successful in other people’s eyes. A shattered heart? Now that he can use. He takes our locked hearts and disappointments in ourselves, tosses them around, and lets us see through a lens that transforms and multiplies our offering into something beautiful.
He takes our limitations and opens our eyes to limitless possibilities. He’s good that way.
Share this:
Leaning In to Hear the Heart of God
“The secret of the Lord is with those who fear Him, and He will show them His covenant.”
Psalm 25:14 (NKJV
Share this:
Devotion
Someone told me I should write a devotional. I didn’t take kindly to the suggestion. For those of you out of the North American Protestant/Evangelical/Charismatic lingo loop, a devotional is a collection of meditations and suggested Bible readings attached to dates on the calendar. Some of them are published as monthly booklets and some as hardbound classics.
The problem for me is that “devotional” did not bring up fond memories of pleasant times of focusing on God. It brought up memories of one more thing I had to do before I could shut off the lights and go to sleep, one more tense morning around the breakfast table while Dad quickly read to us from the booklet with one arm already in the sleeve of his coat, one more packaged sermonette from the camp counsellor before we could go down to the lake to swim, one more occasion to cease the fun and get serious at youth group. In short, I associated “doing devotions” with religious duty that interfered with stuff I valued more. I needed deep healing from the ravages of godless religiosity. I’m realizing, when negative reactions like this pop up, that I still do.
I know I’m not the only one, because a brief online search for devotional material revealed a number of titles bragging about brevity. The Ten Minute Devotional. Quick Daily Devotions for the Busy Mother. Seven Minutes to Starting Your Day Right. Five Minute Devotions. I think the winner of this genre had it down to one minute. That’s what happens when a once good idea becomes an obligation. Let’s get this thing out of the way and get on with life.
The other use of the word “devotion” means a heart set apart and acting out love, loyalty, and care for a person or object. Being devoted to something or somebody means making the object of that devotion a high priority. Imagine Moses saying to his brother Aaron, “I’d love to stay with you and listen to these people complain, but I have to go up on a mountain top and watch the goodness of the Creator of the universe go by.” Imagine Mary of Bethany saying to her sister Martha, “I’d rather wash pots with you, but I have to put in ten minutes of listening to Jesus talk about his Father in heaven first.” Imagine Paul telling the Holy Spirit, “Fine. You can explain the mystery of the ages to me, but be brief. I’ve got a boat to catch.”
Here’s the thing it has taken me far too many years to realize: we cannot love God without receiving his love first. Without his love, without his grace, without revelation of his purposes since time began we have nothing to give but grudging obedience to rules and a quick prayer that nothing bad will happen to us, or our kids, if we miss occasionally. From the beginning he planned for our salvation. He has always been devoted to our well-being, our spiritual spiffing up, and satisfying eternal life with him. We can love him because he loved us first. We can respond from the heart to his invitation to go for a walk with him and ask him our questions, or we can choose to go for the record and see if we can cut down the doing devotions thing to thirty seconds next time.
One day, some years ago now, with the ugly voice of depression whispering that I would just be disappointed again, I chose to get up and go for a walk with the Lover of my soul. I’ve never looked back. Sometimes we talk about how much we value each other, but he always wins. His love is stronger. His devotion to the objects of his love is from everlasting to everlasting.
Charis: Subject to Change 