Crazie Glasse

IMG_0292 stained glass window knox

Lord, how can man preach thy eternall word?
He is a brittle crazie glasse:
Yet in thy temple thou dost him afford
This glorious and transcendent place,
To be a window, through thy grace.

(from The Windows by George Herbert (1593-1633)

It’s amazing that silicon (the dust of the earth)  ground, fired, broken, pounded, fired again, and fashioned into shapes which make no sense when seen in isolation, can become a message of beauty in a Master’s artist’s hands. But in the dark it cannot been seen.

It is the light that makes glass glorious.

Lessons on Grace

 

Smooth Sailing, oil

This duck can glide smoothly through what looks like turbulence because the water is actually calm. The peaceful surface of the water merely picks up the image of the atmosphere around it.

Sometimes I fail to enjoy the peace the Lord has granted me because I am caught up in the turbulence of the lives of people I care about. It’s a hazard for empathic people whose sensitivity causes them to pick up other people’s emotions. The Bible calls it the gift of mercy. It can be a useful tool, but it is a tool, not a reward, and it needs to be used with skill and wisdom. One of the great frustrations in my life has been the seemingly callous attitudes of people who are oblivious to the pain of others. Nothing stirs up my self-labeled righteous indignation more than non-compassionate people who shrug in the presence of suffering and say, “Not my problem.” It makes me furious!

James 2:14-17 says it’s a useless faith that walks past suffering and says, “Go in peace; keep warm and well-fed,” or as Dickens wrote, “Are there no workhouses?”

But this week the Lord has been smacking me upside the head (ever so lovingly) about misaligned compassion that is actually a lack of faith on my part.

I have discovered 1 Corinthians 12:9,10 to be true in my life.

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.(1 Corinthians 12:9,10)

It’s not a matter of self-imposed martyrdom or false humility, but I am learning that it is in the areas where I have been, quite frankly, an utter failure that God is most able to communicate his goodness through me. His goodness amazes me and I love to talk about it. But this is where he called me up on the carpet this week.

“Why, when you have experienced My goodness, do you think that I am not able to do the same thing for others?”

“When did I say that?”

“When you keep jumping in to fix things for people. How will they learn to call on Me when they can call on you? Why do you assume I don’t care? Maybe I’m allowing some of the troubles in their lives for a purpose. I want them to ask Me, to know Me. I’ve called you to pray, to intercede. I want you to stand in the gap, not stand in the way.”

I admit, I’m bad at the whole boundaries thing. I was an over-responsible eldest child and had my personal boundaries violated so often I don’t have an innate sense of when I need to step back and let God be God. (Yes, Lord, I realize that is an explanation and not an excuse.) I’m still learning.

I noticed that parents of my students who applied “tough love” as their go-to position used it on teens who had known precious little “gentle love” in the first place. I felt agony for overachiever-types who were locked out of the house for being five minutes late for a 10 p.m. curfew. On the other hand I have also seen far too many young people grow up with a sense of  learned helplessness when their parents ran defense for them with excuse after excuse for their kid’s lack of self-discipline. I’ve also been caught, more than once, pouring more effort into changing someone’s circumstances than they themselves put into changing the habits that got them there. I’ve seen people who haven’t been tempered by adversity presume on the grace of God with a sense of entitlement that reveals a shallow unloving relationship where the Creator of the universe is viewed as their personal Santa Claus. Someone told me the sin of presumption David recognized as a problem in Psalm 19 is assuming God is here to serve your agenda, instead of you being here to serve God’s.

But God forgive me, sometimes I’ve been the enabler, and it’s been the result of my own lack of faith.

Like everyone else I tend to hear what I want to hear. The folk who easily gravitate to “tough love” need to hear the message “Whoever closes his ear to the cry of the poor will himself call out and not be answered.” (Proverbs 21:13) and the folk who rush in, striving to fix the world themselves need to hear, “I am the Lord, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?” (Jeremiah 32:17)

The last one is me. One couple I admire who have cared for thousands of orphans and fed the hungry and healed the sick  and introduced millions to the goodness of God is Heidi and Roland Baker of Mozambique. Heidi repeats, “God is God. I am not.”

This is what I am learning: God gives plentiful grace for our own circumstances. He has grace in overabundant supply for anyone who asks Him. He does not necessarily give me grace to deal with problems that are not mine. When I am overly influenced by the turbulent atmosphere all around me I lose my peace and when I am worried or afraid I can’t move. I’m no help to anyone. My joy becomes forced and my ability to love is limited to my own willpower. I need to be on solid ground myself before I can throw a lifesaver to a drowning person. I need, like this duck on the lake, to appreciate the peace that is mine in Jesus Christ and move on that.

Sorry, Lord. Give me discernment to stand with you and not for you. Your grace is sufficient for all the people I care about as well. I trust you.

Amazing

Abundance
Abundance

‘Tis grace has brought me safe thus far, and grace will lead me home.

One of the most common commands given thoughout the Bible is “Fear not.” One of the most common promises,  repeated over and over in the Bible, is the promise of God’s goodness. The Hebrew word checed, variously translated as goodness, kindness, mercy, favour, grace or steadfast love is used over 240 times in the Old Testament alone. We don’t have a word in English that combines the ideas of strength, steadfast love and generosity, so we have to make do with several words or a word combination. Lovingkindness is one of them.

Praise the Lord. Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love [checed] endures forever. (Psalm 106:1)

The New Testament word charis is usually translated as grace.

And God is able to make all grace [charis] abound toward you, that you, always having all sufficiency in all things, may have an abundance [perisseuo]  for every good work. (2 Corinthians 9:8)

The word translated “abound” here, persisseuo,  means abundant, overflowing, exceeding a fixed number, excelling, exuberant, extremely rich, over and above, hyper. What is grace that is not “hyper?” Almost enough grace? Barely adequate grace? Scratch-and-dent grace? OK, but you’d better watch it next time grace? Is there anything about God’s grace that is less than amazing?

Can we honestly give God too much credit and not be overwhelmed with thankfulness and praise for every good thing He gives? Can we dare to freely join his His big picture plan with abandon?

Can we stop blaming God for the consequences of our own sinful choices? And can we please stop attributing to Him the works of the evil one, the thief who comes to steal kill and destroy? What is it that overcomes the evil one’s accusations and constant messages of fear and doom and the oldest doubt in the world, “Did God really say?” Is it not by the power of the blood of Jesus Christ, by telling our God-stories, and being willing to voluntarily love Him back with everything He has given us, including our very lives?

And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, and they did not love their lives to the death. (Revelation 12:11)

God knows we seem to need to hear both messages a lot –Fear not, and His lovingkindness endures forever.  The assurance of checed is given 240 times in the Old Testament alone. Strangely I find both messages stir up a deep anger in many people who consider themselves to be dutiful Christians. I’m always surprised when stories of God’s goodness in times of trouble when we rely on him, and times of need when we expect Him to give us provisions for the tasks he assigns us, elicit angry responses of “Yeah, but….”

Still, I can’t condemn them when at times I find myself worrying about the future. I hear the Lord asking me, So what has brought you through troubles and tribulations so far?

Grace. Your lovingkindness.

Then don’t be afraid.

Grace, abundant, amazing, overflowing, steadfast, loving, kind, merciful grace will continuously be with you, because I have promised to never leave you, and checed and charis are part of My character. I don’t lie. I don’t change. I AM love. I give abundant grace.

I promise. That’s why I gave my only Son. That’s why my Holy Spirit lives in you. I AM love. 

And you can take that to the bank.

When Fear Crashes the Party

dinosaur coming IMG_7070

My grandchildren reminded me what happens when we live in the clash between two kingdoms. My granddaughter, the meticulous decently-and-in-order one, had just finished setting up the fairy princess wedding scenario when the dinosaurs ventured out of her brother’s castle to try to crash the party. We had a problem -and it involved a lot of volume.

Dinosaur at the wedding party IMG_7081

Fear is a nasty weapon. I have seen fear bombs land on quite a few people lately -myself included.

For the Lord your God is living among you.

He is a mighty savior.

He will take delight in you with gladness.

With his love, he will calm all your fears.

He will rejoice over you with joyful songs. (Zephaniah 3:17)

I’ve talked to other people who have had the most bizarre charges laid against them lately.  Folks feel helpless to deal with accusations that are ridiculously unjust, and don’t know how to disarm them. The fear bombs are not from God, but He is neither surprised nor dismayed by them. He invites us to trust Him as He teaches us more about who He wants to be for us in these circumstances. His ways are often the opposite of our natural responses, and  He is excited to show us what He wants to do instead of the plans of the enemy of our souls. The devil’s most effective low-budget weapons are still fear and accusation. Love dismantles fear. Truth sets us free. When we let God carry all our burdens and worries it’s humbling, but empowering at the same time.

All of you should treat each other with humility, for as it says in Proverbs,

God opposes the proud
    but offers grace to the humble.

 So bow down under God’s strong hand; then when the time comes, God will lift you up. 

Since God cares for you, let Him carry all your burdens and worries.

 Most importantly, be disciplined and stay on guard.

Your enemy the devil is prowling around outside like a roaring lion, just waiting and hoping for the chance to devour someone. 

Resist him and be strong in your faith, knowing that your brothers and sisters throughout the world are fellow sufferers with you. 

After you have suffered for a little while, the God of grace who has called you [to His everlasting presence] through Jesus the Anointed will restore you, support you, strengthen you, and ground you. 

For all power belongs to God, now and forever. Amen.

( 1 Peter 5:5-11)

dino-envy IMG_7068

We need to be careful not to shoot the hostages. As my three-year old grandson pointed out, dinosaurs get lonely and sometimes they need love too. They don’t often get asked to tea in a princess castle because they don’t fit, but a princess can visit theirs.

I think Jesus would approve.

Princess visits dinosaur castle IMG_7063

The Unforced Rhythms of Grace

Grace Bay Turks and Caicos
Grace Bay
Turks and Caicos

For some reason (haha! maybe because it’s January in Canada and here, late in the afternoon, it is already dark) I am remembering a beautiful day on the most beautiful beach I have ever seen – Grace Bay on the island of Provedenciales in the Turks and Caicos. It’s aptly named. Warm turquoise water, clean white sand, soft Caribbean breeze, no crowds, no hurry…. It’s a place graced with beauty.

On cold days like this it’s heart-warming to remember lying in the sun, listening to the rhythm of the surf. Eugene Peterson used the phrase “the unforced rhythms of grace” in his paraphrase of Jesus’ words in Matthew.

Jesus resumed talking to the people, but now tenderly. “The Father has given me all these things to do and say. This is a unique Father-Son operation, coming out of Father and Son intimacies and knowledge. No one knows the Son the way the Father does, nor the Father the way the Son does. But I’m not keeping it to myself; I’m ready to go over it line by line with anyone willing to listen.  

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” (Matthew 11:27-30 The Message paraphrase)

The unforced rhythms of grace. I like that. Like breathing out and breathing in. No matter our circumstances, (or the temperature in our real world) living in grace means living freely and lightly.

Lead On!

Warrior Chick
Warrior Chick

God has a great sense of humour. He seems to get a kick out of sending his most powerful messages through some of the most unlikely people. He delights in annoying the religious establishment with folks my mom would call “characters.”

Amongst his own disciples Jesus included Simon the zealot and Matthew the tax collector. This was the equivalent of including a gun-totin’ anti-government survivalist and an IRS auditor on the same camping trip. That alone would be worth the price of admission just to hear conversations around the campfire.

I don’t imagine John the Baptist smelled that good, dressed as he was in camel-hair in the desert heat in pre-deodorant days. And some of those other messenger boys were pretty weird too. I have a feeling that if you had a gathering of Old Testament prophets it would look like a blooming asperger’s convention.

God’s habit of using the non-mighty makes me wonder if Samson looked more like Woody Allen’s Alvy Singer than Kevin Sorbo’s Hercules –and that’s why the Philistines demanded to know the source of his strength — because it obviously wasn’t his own steroids. (Judges 14)

Ehud, another unlikely hero whose name means “praise”, was sent to bring down a fat despot who oppressed the people. Ehud was left-handed. He was weak on the side where most soldiers were strong, but strong on the side where most other warriors were weak. His strength was overlooked and he walked right into Eglon’s bathroom with an unconventional weapon strapped to his thigh. Where armies could not rise up enough to free the people, a “weak” man could. (Judges 3)

Another time Barak told the judge Deborah that he would attempt to rid the country of the oppressor by going after Sisera only if she would go with him. She agreed, but said the victory would go to a woman. In that time, when women were regarded as property, this was humiliating to a man. The victory did go to a woman. The tent-wife Jael finished Sisera with the unconventional weapons of a tent-peg and hammer. (One scholar goes as far as saying the word used here implies Jael was a not even a regular wife, but a sex-slave captured from another people group. The lowest of the low.) (Judges 4)

Eowyn from Lord of the Rings reminds me of Jael and Deborah. The Nazgul had her pinned down and intimidated her with the known fact that he could not be killed by a man. She herself became the unexpected weapon when she removed her helmet and cried, “I am no man!” and thrust her sword into the enemy’s face.

I heard a story once of how a janitor became the leader of a group of high-powered CEOs when he bashed through the wall with his broom handle and rescued the entire group from a burning building. Because he had the knowledge of where the weak spot was in the wall and unconventional weapons, and wisdom and foresight to do what needed to be done, he became the instant leader.

The battle is heating up. Have you noticed? This very week powers of darkness twist communication and seek to divide and confuse people who are meant to be examples of love, grace, and freedom to live holy lives.

This song has been going through my head over and over for the past few days. (I’ve learned to pay attention to insistent songs that wake me up in the night.) It’s about those who dwell in the tents of the Lord, who are made strong by grace and carry the unconventional weapons of deeds of love and mercy.

Lead on, O King eternal,

the day of march has come;

henceforth in fields of conquest

your tents will be our home.

Through days of preparation

your grace has made us strong;

and now, O King eternal,

we lift our battle song.

Lead on, O King eternal,

till sin’s fierce war shall cease,

and holiness shall whisper

the sweet amen of peace.

For not with swords’ loud clashing

or roll of stirring drums

with deeds of love and mercy

the heavenly kingdom comes.

Lead on, O King eternal;

we follow, not with fears,

for gladness breaks like morning

where’er your face appears.

Your cross is lifted o’er us,

we journey in its light;

the crown awaits the conquest;

lead on, O God of might.

-Henry Smart

While men jockey for positions of power in government and church hierarchies, it is often the janitor in the elevator, the odd student, the refugee with limited language skills, the grandmother on her knees, and even the slave who become the generals in this fight against sin and unbelief that would block God’s goodness and hurt the ones He loves so much. Their weapons are not rhetoric or guns but whatever God has placed in their hands with which to demonstrate love and mercy. They receive their orders from the King of heaven himself and they follow Him alone. He has been bringing them through a tough school of preparation, teaching them to respond to his grace, live holy lives and rely on His faithfulness.

Over them, gladness breaks like morning, because they look to his face. The joy of the Lord is their strength.

For you see your calling, brethren, that not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called. But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty;  and the base things of the world and the things which are despised God has chosen, and the things which are not, to bring to nothing the things that are,  that no flesh should glory in His presence.  But of Him you are in Christ Jesus, who became for us wisdom from God—and righteousness and sanctification and redemption— that, as it is written, “He who glories, let him glory in the Lord.” (1 Corinthians 1)

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Let Beauty and Grace Rest Upon Us

pink dahlia

Let Your work of love be on display for all Your servants;

let Your children see Your majesty.

And then let the beauty and grace of the Lord—our God—rest upon us

and bring success to all we do;

yes, bring success to all we do

(Psalm 90:16,17)

Bitter Fruit

Bitter plums
Bitter plums

I often wondered what “Be angry and do not sin,” meant. I hate feeling angry. I don’t like me when I’m angry. But sometimes rage just rises up and I don’t know what to do with it.

Sometimes anger flares up over seemingly trivial things, and I’m embarrassed by it. It’s like some poor soul accidentally stepped on a buried land mine from a forgotten war. I thought I had dealt with that, but I guess there was still something nasty there.

Anger is a secondary emotion. Anger is like a shockingly annoying siren screaming that something is wrong. A shameful weakness or secret  is about to be exposed, or somebody is demanding something I don’t want to part with, or something is removing my ability to choose how I will spend my time or resources. Sometimes the anger looks like righteous indignation on behalf of another person, often a child, but that’s because an incident triggers a memory of past hurts when no one seemed to notice or care about me either.

Anger can be an agent of grace when it signals an area that is still infected and still needs healing. Anger is an agent of grace when it motivates change for the better. It’s like the engine light flashing on the dashboard of the car. We don’t always know what’s wrong, or how to fix it, but we know it needs attention.

The problem with not attending to the real issue is that after time anger begins to congeal and solidify into bitterness. Bitter people are hard people. The Bible calls them stiff-necked, because they become stubborn in their resentment. Any endeavour we embark upon that has bitterness at its root is bound to produce bitter fruit. The quality of the fruit is dependent on the quality of the seed that is sown and the type of tree that grows from that seed.

We have a tree in our garden that starts off beautifully every spring. The blossoms that completely cover this plum tree draw attention from passers-by. It looks marvelous! But this time of year it draws complaints (especially from me) as it drops its inedible fruit and attracts vermin that don’t seem to mind its bitterness. I was just out there sweeping more bitter plums as they rolled, like on-top-of-spaghetti meatballs, down the sidewalk and onto the street.

fallen
fallen

Jesus warned his disciples about false prophets who would show up like ravenous wolves. They would look good at first -just like the other harmless sheep, but eventually their true nature would become evident. He said we could identify them by their fruit.

The fruit of bitterness shows up in words, bitter words. Anger leaves room for hope of change. Many crusades for justice in the world have been triggered by anger toward an incident that causes people to unite, rise up and say, “No more!”

Bitterness says, “What do you expect? It’s always going to be this way. They have all the power and influence. I am a perpetual victim of injustice. The rich get rich and the poor get poorer. It’s hopeless and God is either impotent or complicit in the whole thing,” or, “People are not obeying the rules! They should not be getting away with this. I’ve had to obey the rules all my life and nobody has ever rewarded me for it. But that’s way it goes, I guess.”

The bitter “prophet” loves to point out what is wrong, but cannot offer hope for change. They might talk about “should” but they have a harder time talking about “how.” They cling to the deeds of the law even though they resent the law themselves. Galatians says these are some of the fruits of that thinking: enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions and envyings.”

These are the things that cause people, some of them with great reputations who have been entrenched in churches for years, to reveal ravenous aggressiveness that would devour those who live in hope of changing into the likeness of Jesus Christ. They have lots of words to offer about why something won’t work, and what’s wrong with anybody who follows God zealously and does things differently, but they have few words of encouragement that urge the next generation to stretch and to pursue a relationship with God that goes farther than we have gone or to see greater works than our generation has seen.

Sometimes it’s the very folks who tell us they are the shepherds guarding us against all possible heresy who themselves attack the sheep with harsh words, criticism, gossip, disputes and slander. (And like ravenous wolves they tend to join up in packs and go after prey bigger than themselves.)

Our words need to be full of the same grace we have received from God. We need to give people room to grow and not condemn those who are still learning and not yet perfect. We need to gently correct with a humility that comes from willingness to be transparent about our own struggles, and build up and equip those coming behind us to be greater in the kingdom than anything we have imagined. Only by letting go of our own disappointments and bitterness through forgiveness, only by entering God’s presence through gratitude and praise for all His goodness, only by letting his healing light reveal those dark corners where hidden time-bombs of shame and pain and guilty secrets still lurk -and bringing them to Jesus for healing- can we be kind, tender-hearted, encouragers full of love.

Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil an opportunity. He who steals must steal no longer; but rather he must labor, performing with his own hands what is good, so that he will have something to share with one who has need. Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. (Ephesians 4:26-32)

Lament: Pure Worship

Fire Season
Fire Season

The writers of the Psalms -especially David- were not afraid of emotion. They kept it real. Maybe that’s why I like the Psalms so much. Integrity is a quality I admire.

A beloved counsellor once confronted me for saying, “I shouldn’t feel this way.”

“Feeling emotion,” he said, “is no more shameful than feeling thirst. You don’t condemn yourself for being thirsty, do you? You can decide whether the thirst is something you can tolerate until a more convenient time to get a drink, or if you need to deal with it right now. You can analyze the cause of the thirst -are my blood sugars OK, or do I need to avoid salty food before long meetings- and make adjustments to behaviours in the future, but you don’t need to deny the reality of your thirst. You certainly would not be wise to ignore it forever. Emotions are like that; you can choose your response but there is no shame in feeling.”

So much of my life I was taught that I ought to hide sorrow. “Don’t bring everybody down.” “Sparkle, sparkle, little girl. Smile!”

Now I’m not talking about grumbling, complaining and sympathy seeking. I do believe you see what you focus on. I’m just talking about keeping it real and dropping the facade that everything is fine when it is not. The writers of the Psalms did not make a practice of speaking only of good times. They didn’t turn scripture around to make it say “speaking those things that are as if they are not.” They didn’t avoid other people -or God- when all was not going well and when they didn’t have an up-to-date “glorious testimony.”

But what they did do is take their pain and sorrow and turn it into worship. They lamented. They took what they had -their suffering- and offered it as praise.

It is in moments of excruciating pain and even deep personal regret that tragic heroes of stories and stage reveal insights that give us hope in the God who can change us into more than we thought we could be. The Bible honestly reveals the weaknesses of folks who struggled with faith and obedience in adverse circumstances.  The Bible includes their failures. The Bible includes laments.

Only a person living a transparent life can write:

I will say to God my Rock, “Why have You forgotten me? Why do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?’ As with a breaking of my bones, my enemies approach me, while they say to me all the day long, “Where is your God?”

And only a person living honestly has the ability to offer:

Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God; for I shall yet praise him, the help of my countenance and my God. (Psalm 42)

His dark season did not last forever, and God restored, but Job, after all he feared came upon him, after all other possible sources of happiness had been lost, was in a position to offer the most refined, distilled, pure worship of all, “Though he slay me, yet I will trust Him.”

“Lamentation does not deny the existence of pain; it does just the opposite, in fact. It actually involves worshipping God with that sorrow. What are the circumstances of your life? Are you in the winepress of God, being crushed like a grape?…

If you are in mourning, you have the opportunity to worship in the most powerful way possible –  lamentation. This worship isn’t done in order to have God remove the pain. It simply recognizes that God stands in the moment with us. Lamentation elevates God in the presence of our enemies.”

-Graham Cooke

Sometimes it is in the place of our deepest sorrow that the diamonds and rubies of true joy, formed over time under great pressure, are found.

God is good.

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