Tag: change

Because He Loved First

On By Charis PsalloIn Just folks, Photography, PoetryLeave a comment
Because He First Loved Us
Because He First Loved Us

My Psalm

Like a child standing on tip-toe,

unable to reach the light switch,

like a girl groping cellar walls,

unable to find the stairs

I waited in the dark.

The drone of traffic in the streets

in rising and lowering songless pitch

neared my heart

then passed me by,

hope deferred yet once again.

 

I cried, “Oh God! Where are you?”

Pouring my effort into limp flowers

potted in desiccated soil

I watched as hope seeped through again and again

staining the white tablecloth beneath.

 

“I can never be good enough,” I whimpered.

But you,

Abba

Papa

Father

said, “Come.”

You placed your strong arms under mine

and lifted me up.

You tossed me high

into the sunlight

and caught me with your grace

stronger than any fear of failure.

You held me in your lap wide as a green orchard

and fed me words from your mouth.

 

Abba, you are my light in the hall.

Papa, you are hope like the door left ajar.

Father, I hear you in the kitchen preparing a feast for me.

You are my strength, my light, my hope, my joy.

I love you.

(re-blog from April 2, 2012)

Find Me!

On By Charis PsalloIn Just folks, Photography6 Comments
Come and Find Me!
Come and Find Me!

My little grandson loves to play hide-and-seek, but he hasn’t quite got the hang of it yet. Little Mighty Man runs around my feet chanting, “Find me, Nana! Find me! I hide.”

He then makes as much noise as he can opening and closing the bedroom closet door, or shoving the potty across the floor so he can stand behind the door in the bathroom, or sneaks behind the curtains -in plain view. Sometimes I’ll call out “Little Mighty Man! Where are you? Oh, dear, I can find him!” and he will immediately drop a tiny little hint. “I’m in the closet!”

Nothing is worse than a game of hide-and-seek when the seeker is distracted by a phone call and isn’t actively looking. We want to be found.

Sometimes, when God has me in a dross-burning season in my life, I think it would be nice to just slip away for a while. “Flee as a bird,’ the psalmist said. I argue that the cost of removing contaminated, moldy ideas from my mind is too much. That which was supposed to be a simple renovation in my heart has resulted in tearing down walls and lifting flooring that has served me quite well thus far. (Well, good enough.) I just want to escape from the confusion and hide for a while.

But I’m hiding with my feet sticking out. Please look for me, Abba. Please laugh and pick me up and hug me when you lift the curtain.

You go before me and follow me.
    You place your hand of blessing on my head.
 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too great for me to understand!

 I can never escape from your Spirit!
    I can never get away from your presence!
 If I go up to heaven, you are there;
    if I go down to the grave, you are there.
 If I ride the wings of the morning,
    if I dwell by the farthest oceans,
 even there your hand will guide me,
    and your strength will support me.
 I could ask the darkness to hide me
    and the light around me to become night—
     but even in darkness I cannot hide from you.
To you the night shines as bright as day.
    Darkness and light are the same to you.

 How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.
    They cannot be numbered!
 I can’t even count them;
    they outnumber the grains of sand!
And when I wake up,
    you are still with me!

(Psalm 139:5-12, 12-18)

And Peace will Guard your Hearts and Minds

On By Charis PsalloIn Photography, Sky10 Comments

sunset 11

Delight yourselves in God, yes, find your joy in him at all times.

Have a reputation for gentleness, and never forget the nearness of your Lord.

 Don’t worry over anything whatever;

tell God every detail of your needs in earnest and thankful prayer,

and the peace of God which transcends human understanding,

will keep constant guard over your hearts and minds as they rest in Christ Jesus.

 Here is a last piece of advice. If you believe in goodness and if you value the approval of God,

fix your minds on the things which are holy and right and pure and beautiful and good.

(Philippians 4:4-7)

sunset 10

Walking Home on a Winter Evening

On By Charis PsalloIn Mountains, Photography, Sky, Trees and forests, Winter4 Comments
Walking home on a Winter Evening
Walking Home on a Winter Evening

 

The sun sets early in the winter in this country. I fondly recall summer evenings when we can safely go out for a hike after the supper dishes are done. Now we trudge home before the table is set.

Too soon!  Too soon!  There is still work to be done, and fun to be had!

But the sky says it’s time to go home. I hear my Lord’s voice calling, “Come to me , all you who have been working hard and carrying loads too heavy for you. Come to me and I will give you rest.  Walk in partnership with me and I will carry the bulk of it. I will make the task easy and your burden light.”

This is a season of rest. I may not choose the timing, but there is much to be learned in rest.

Heading home now.

For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel,
“In returning and rest you shall be saved;
    in quietness and in trust shall be your strength.”

(Isaiah 30:15)

Rise and Stand

On By Charis PsalloIn Art, Flowers, Photography10 Comments
Stand
Stand

I’m a night owl. If I never desired contact with regular people I could happily live with my days and nights almost reversed. My mom used to catch me studying after midnight and say, “Honey, why don’t you get up at 5:30 with me and study when you are fresh?”

The only way I could study at 5:30 a.m. would be if I stayed up until 5:30 a.m. pulling an all-nighter –or I had the flu, and the word fresh would not dare enter the room.

Owls marry larks. We didn’t know that. The first year of marriage neither of us slept. In our 41st year he gets up at 5:30 a.m. and works when he’s fresh. I accuse him of giving up and going to bed before the day is over, but he just harumphs and toddles off and I put the kettle on for my next round. One of the reasons I think we have managed to stay together this long is that we have a rule. I will not take seriously (or emotionally) anything he says after 10 p.m. and he will tell me nothing of importance before 10 a.m. –unless it’s an emergency.

Morning people always talk about rising before dawn for prayer and Bible study or to meditate and prioritize their goals for the day.

“Jesus rose up before dawn,” they say, “We should follow his example.”

I tried that for a while, and then I realized I was giving the Lord the worst part of my day. My prayers were something like, “Um…yeah.. uh.. thank you for this day…. anda… um………………..zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…oh, sorry,….for ….. for… something. There was somethingsomething…”

I was awful when I had early-rising babies. I could easily diaper the wrong end. When the kids were grown (or almost grown) and my workday didn’t start until afternoon so I didn’t have to get up early, I started watching late-night T.V.. Alas, David Letterman, although a witty conversationalist, never acknowledged my input, so I started talking to God. He’s a good listener.

Then he began to talk back (God, not David Letterman. I’m not that crazy.) Questions I asked him were answered -in dreams, or scripture passages that came to mind, in co-incidences like the same book being mentioned by three totally different sources in the same day, in pod-casts or blogs I stumbled upon, or in nature, or in songs that get stuck on repeat in my head until I stop and pay attention to them. I still felt guilty for being undisciplined and not “doing morning devotions” but that’s when I realized he wants a relationship with me and not with someone who punches a time clock out of duty and is glad when that’s done and can be crossed off the list. He doesn’t mind that I wake up slowly or that I’m at my peak when others collapse and fall into bed. He gets it, because he made me this way.

We rise and stand to do battle in the night, or sometimes just be, saying and doing nothing in particular. Now that sleep doesn’t come as easily as it used to, some of our best times together happen in the wee hours, even at 5:30 a.m. -and it’s all good.

Now may he grant you your heart’s desire
    and fulfill all your plans!
 May we shout for joy over your salvation,
    and in the name of our God set up our banners!
May the Lord fulfill all your petitions!

 Now I know that the Lord saves his anointed;
    he will answer him from his holy heaven
    with the saving might of his right hand.
 Some trust in chariots and some in horses,
    but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.
 They collapse and fall,
    but we rise and stand upright.

(Psalm 20:4-8)

Rest

On By Charis PsalloIn Art, Man made, Photography2 Comments
Rest
Rest

There still exists, therefore, a full and complete rest for the people of God.

And he who experiences his real rest is resting from his own work as fully as God from his.

 

Let us then be eager to know this rest for ourselves,

and let us beware that no one misses it through falling into the same kind of unbelief as those we have mentioned.

For the Word that God speaks is alive and active;

it cuts more keenly than any two-edged sword:

it strikes through to the place where soul and spirit meet,

to the innermost intimacies of a man’s being:

it exposes the very thoughts and motives of a man’s heart.

No creature has any cover from the sight of God;

everything lies naked and exposed before the eyes of him with whom we have to do.

Seeing that we have a great High Priest who has entered the inmost Heaven,

Jesus the Son of God,

let us hold firmly to our faith.

For we have no superhuman High Priest to whom our weaknesses are unintelligible

—he himself has shared fully in all our experience of temptation, except that he never sinned.

Let us therefore approach the throne of grace with fullest confidence,

that we may receive mercy for our failures and grace to help in the hour of need.

(Hebrews 4:13 – 17)

Clouds

On By Charis PsalloIn Mountains, Photography, Sky18 Comments

2 clouds

It’s one thing to sing about joy and peace when all is sunny and warm; it’s another when clouds hang over the horizon like dismal forebodings.

It’s one thing to praise God when healing comes and everything works according to design specifications; it’s another when undeniable pain interrupts sleep and a doctor says we need to schedule a biopsy.

I have often heard the expression “struggling with…” as in, “He is struggling with an alcohol/porn/Oxycontin addiction,” or, “She is struggling with a victim mentality/sympathy addiction/negative attitude problem.” I’ve used the phrase myself.

It is easier for him to say, “I am struggling with an addiction,” than it is to say, “I confess that I am giving in to an addiction,” or for her to say, “I am struggling with discouragement,” than “I am choosing to obsess about how much harder my life has been than other peoples’.”

It’s a euphemism, a prettier way to lie to ourselves and others. The truth is he has stopped fighting his addiction and she is deliberately wallowing in self-pity. The devil can custom-make the temptations he waves in front of our eyes, but we are the ones who choose to bite into them.

Here’s another crazy thing: it is so easy to divert attention by criticizing others for taking bites from forbidden fruit that are unattractive to us, while our own mouths are busy chomping temptation tidbits. I am not tempted by a case of beer (I can’t get it past my nose) but if a loved one driving on winter roads is an hour past estimated arrival time I can go from re-checking my watch to worrying about  funeral plans in a ridiculously short period of time. I have habitually docked my boat in Worry Bay for far too many years. This is a change that doesn’t come easy.

My confession: I have been giving in to fear. For about three weeks I have allowed the “what-ifs” to drown out God’s promises to never leave me or forsake me. Fear has not been there the whole time, but often enough to distract me from enjoying precious moments with my new grandchild.

At first I kept the secret of ominous symptoms to myself, but then I had a dream about putting make-up on with a spatula and someone telling me that putting on a good face doesn’t make the problem go away, nor is it honest. That’s not faith; that’s denial. There is a greater truth that is seen from God’s perspective, but it doesn’t make the mere facts seen from human perspective untrue — merely limited.

This morning I read Psalm 57:

Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me,
for in you my soul takes refuge;
in the shadow of your wings I will take refuge,
till the storms of destruction pass by.
 I cry out to God Most High,
to God who fulfills his purpose for me.
 He will send from heaven and save me;
he will put to shame him who tramples on me. Selah
God will send out his steadfast love and his faithfulness! 

It’s a choice, the fruit of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control) or the fruit of temptation (“Did God really say…?”).

This is a storm on the horizon. Maybe it will blow over, maybe it won’t. The Lord has safely seen me through many storms and He will safely see me through this one as well. Today I choose to listen to Holy Spirit.

Bless the Lord, oh my soul, and all that is within me, bless His holy name!

Related post

At a Standstill: https://charispsallo.wordpress.com/2012/05/20/at-a-standstill/

Peace within

On By Charis PsalloIn Photography, Trees and forests, Uncategorized, Winter14 Comments

 

“May today there be peace within.

May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.

May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.

May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.

May you be content knowing you are a child of God.

Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love.

It is there for each and every one of us.”


― Thérèse de LisieuxEvergreen winter blue

Portal

On By Charis PsalloIn Man made, Photography, Winter6 Comments

portal

Standing at the portal
Of the opening year,
Words of comfort meet us,
Hushing every fear;
Spoken thru the silence
By our Savior’s voice,
Tender, strong and faithful,
Making us rejoice.

Onward, then, and fear not,
Children of the day;
For His Word shall never,
Never pass away.

“I, the Lord, am with thee,
Be thou not afraid;
I will help and strengthen
Be thou not dismayed.
Yea, I will uphold thee
With My own right hand;
Thou art called and chosen
In My sight to stand.”

For the year before us,
O what rich supplies!
For the poor and needy
Living streams shall rise;
For the sad and sinful
Shall His grace abound;
For the faint and feeble
Perfect strength be found.

He will never fail us,
He will not forsake;
For His eternal covenant
He will never break.
Resting on the promise,
What have we to fear?
God is all sufficient
For the coming year.

-Frances Havergal, 1873