Living in the Light

From my kitchen window, I saw the foxglove plant my sweet friend Diana gave me. It was still on the deck with a collection of other bedding plants waiting for the weather to warm up enough to plant it. The low evening sun lit its petals with fire. I just had to hobble out there with my camera to capture it. I joke that I need a sign on the back of my car that says, “This vehicle brakes for lighting conditions.”

Sometimes backlight turns objects into dark silhouettes and sometimes, when the subject is transparent, more is revealed than we could see before. This time I was fascinated by the little spots like a cobblestone path leading deeper into the heart of the flower. I snapped the photo, then covered the flats of bedding plants with a plastic tarp.

I haven’t planted them in the garden yet for two reasons. 1) It’s been unseasonably cold with frost appearing in unexpected areas the last few nights and 2) because a few days ago, while attempting to cover up the few snapdragons I did plant last week, I fell and undid a lot of physiotherapy on my legs and back.

I only meant to slip outside quickly and put a sheet over the snapdragons and pansies before going to bed. Not wanting the taller flowers to be bent by the covering, I tried to push a stick into the soil for the sheet to rest on. The stick broke and I lost my balance. When the shock wore off, I assessed the situation. I had twisted every joint and muscle on my left side in an attempt to avoid impaling myself on the broken stake as I went down. I knew instantly I had torn more cartilage in my already damaged knees and it felt like I had sprained an ankle. It was dark and cold. I had no jacket or sweater. The walker I know I should keep nearby for balance because of my knee problems was inside. I was lying like a beached whale in a muddy flower bed with only crushed snapdragons for support. I couldn’t get up. My husband was inside, in his office with the door shut, and my neighbours’ lights had been turned off for the night. No one could see me or hear me.

I prayed my most frequently used go-to prayer. “Oh God!”

Eventually I rolled out and somehow got up on the lesser damaged leg. I yelled again and my husband heard me while turning off lights before retiring. He managed to help me up the three impossible stairs to the hallway where I could ride the rest of the way seated on the walker. I couldn’t put any weight on one leg at all for a couple of days. The rest of my body reminded me of the indignity it had suffered as well. I felt so stupid.

For the past few days I’ve been showing up like a silhouette in the sun to most people, which is easy to do when we are still mostly on lockdown. What injury? Nothin’ to see here. I am definitely not looking for sympathy, but neither have I admitted why I haven’t left the house lately. So here is my transparency. You may notice I’ve got spots.

Sometimes I need help and it’s hard to admit. I want to be the one who helps others, not the one who needs someone to pull me out of the mud, but the Lord reminds me that mutual submission means saying both “Let me help you,” and “I need your help.” It may be more blessed to give than receive, but only those who know how to receive learn how to humbly give in a way that lifts people up and doesn’t put them down for the absence of judgment that got them into a mess.

Some people say that talking about an illness or injury is somehow showing a lack of faith or being negative. My response to that is, “It will be interesting to see how God uses this experience.” Faith in real time means talking about real problems and real answers to prayer. By the way, I can now put some weight on my leg and maneuver around one level of the house and, most importantly, get to the bathroom on my own. (Praise God!) Healing is happening.

To friends who prayed, washed my muddy floor, and asked if I wanted more snapdragons, thank you. To my husband who is always there (as long as he hears me) I love you. To my physiotherapist who has been working hard these past weeks to get me moving, sorry about that.

9 thoughts on “Living in the Light

  1. Charis, so sorry to hear about your adventure. So good that your husband heard you and was able to help. Your progress is wonderful to hear, as can get to the bathroom on your own and maneuver around your home. God heard your cry. Your friends’ help is awesome. God is so good.

    Sharing this testimony with you to encourage you. I have a friend who tripped and fell and injured her hand–she couldn’t close or use it, it was swollen and numb, had an ankle swollen 3 times its normal size, black and blue toes, swollen feet, and 7 out of 10 pain with difficulty walking, and hadn’t slept for 2 nights. She could not wear her shoes and walked with great pain. I went and anointed her with oil in the name of Jesus, told the trauma of the injury to go in Jesus name, the swelling and pain to leave and to be whole. It was amazing, the swelling left, the numbness left, pain reduced to a 2 and then after commanding the pain to go again, it left completely. All the back and blue bruising left. 2 weeks later, she is doing well with no return of any pain or injury. We rejoiced in Jesus and healing touch. He loves us and took all our pain and sicknesses on the cross.

    May the weather warm up with no frost and your plants thrive. May all marvel at your recovery and your great enjoyment of the summer as you capture the beauty around you with your camera and feast on it with your eyes. May joy and love surround you with delight. Love and hugs to you and your loved ones!

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  2. So sorry you fell! And such a complicated fall! What lovely photos – those lights in our darkest hours are the signs that give us hope as we press on. You will be in my prayers, my Friend!

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  3. As
    I re-read your post, I remembered falling about 13 years ago into my cement stairwell, I knew by the pain my ankle was broken it was night and I called and called for my son. He couldn’t hear me nor my land lords so I crawled up 6 or 7 stairs across the paved driveway and drove myself to the hospital I was so grateful it was my left leg. It happened on a weekend so I used crutches, Wore a cast and managed not to miss work. Those were the good old days. Now I have a cane for my worn out hip. Please pray I will get bumped up the list for surgery. “ [We’re] getting ready for glory”
    From Steve Bell song.

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    1. Aging is not for the faint of heart, is it? I’m grateful for years of experiencing God’s faithfulness. His love for us is not contingent on beauty or strength or how much we can accomplish for him. After all these years I am still going deeper into the heart of “My grace is sufficient for you.” Praying for healing for your hip, however the Lord want to do it.

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