Therefore I remember

Someone asked me recently, “What is the difference between heartache and depression?” Having known both I could answer, “Heartache causes you to cry out, in your pain, to the God of hope; depression causes you to lose sight of hope.”

I do not believe that humankind faces any greater pain than the loss of hope. I’ve had a lot of painful physical problems in my life, but none so bad that I wanted to die just so the pain would stop. Depression made me want to die.

I was familiar with the sense that the dark clouds were again descending and feeling helpless to stop the storm that sucked all the colour out of my life. If you understand what I mean by this, I urge you to keep your eyes on the sliver of light on the horizon, and when it disappears, to cling by faith to the memory and certain hope that light is indeed still there and will again arise in the dark. And if that fails, cling to someone who can carry faith for you.

The psalmist understood this pain.

As a deer longs for streams of water,

so I long for You, God.

 I thirst for God, the living God.

When can I come and appear before God?

 My tears have been my food day and night,

while all day long people say to me,

“Where is your God?”

 I remember this as I pour out my heart:

how I walked with many,

leading the festive procession to the house of God,

with joyful and thankful shouts.

 

 Why am I so depressed?

Why this turmoil within me?

Put your hope in God, for I will still praise Him,

my Savior and my God.

 I am deeply depressed;

therefore I remember You from the land of Jordan

and the peaks of Hermon, from Mount Mizar.

 Deep calls to deep in the roar of Your waterfalls;

all Your breakers and Your billows have swept over me.

 The LORD will send His faithful love by day;

His song will be with me in the night—

a prayer to the God of my life.

 

 I will say to God, my rock,

“Why have You forgotten me?

Why must I go about in sorrow

because of the enemy’s oppression?”

 My adversaries taunt me,

as if crushing my bones,

while all day long they say to me,

“Where is your God?”

 Why am I so depressed?

Why this turmoil within me?

Put your hope in God, for I will still praise Him,

my Savior and my God. –Psalm 42

There is no pain or humiliation that Jesus does not understand.

There is hope! After 40 years of  seeing that darkness descend again and again I am finally free. I am so happy -yes happy- to be alive! The God of hope is faithful to his promises. He is so good!  He is so very, very good and I praise him with all my joyful heart!

11 thoughts on “Therefore I remember

  1. “Heartache causes you to cry out, in your pain, to the God of hope; depression causes you to lose sight of hope.”

    This is a powerful statement of truth. Thank you for sharing this thought, it’s very moving. May God bring you blessings and joy.
    -Josh

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  2. Hi there, I share your approach to coping with depression. I think the key for us is to fight through the weight of depression and to simply remember. Our memory – of God’s promises and the victories He has won for us – is a very powerful weapon that we all have.

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  3. Pingback: So Where Is This God When You Need Him? « Cite Simon

  4. A lot of emotion in your poem, Cite Simon. ” As the psalmist says, “My tears have been my food day and night, while all day long people say to me,“Where is your God?”
    I often wonder why it took 40 years of struggle for me. I tend not to trust answers that begin with “Just…” Perhaps, as you say, it is the struggle that strengthens our growth.
    Thank you for dropping by.

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  7. Reblogged this on Charis: Subject to Change and commented:

    The world lost another beloved soul to depression today. I enjoyed Robin William’s work very much and will always remember his twinkling blue eyes. But I also understand that humour often springs from pain. I remember what it is like to be in that lonely place without hope — in the midst of other people enjoying life. I am re-blogging a remembrance of that place in hope… in hope that knowing that someone has survived hopelessness will allow one more person, perhaps you, to let someone else carry hope for you when the darkness seems unending… in hope that the Light will fill your heart and never leave.

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  8. Pingback: Therefore I remember | iblogstr8sicit's Blog

    1. Thank you, Dawna, for taking the time to comment. It means a lot to me. May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.

      Like

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