Don’t worry about having the right words; worry more about having the right heart. It’s not eloquence he seeks, just honesty.

Max Lucado

I remember, as a child, listening to two women disagree about the proper way to do something in church. Both believed that if something was worth doing, it was worth doing well. Both believed there was a right and wrong way to do things. Both believed their way was the right way. Voices were rising, but not in praise. Finally one said, “Well, we’ll just pray about that and see who God listens to.” She stomped off.

That scenario stuck with me. Even as a child I knew something was off. I didn’t know how to pray properly. In fact, nothing scared me off praying with other people more than being told I was doing it wrong by those who seemed to be in God’s favour. (I wrote about that here in Praying Naked).

Today I was reading this passage in the fourth chapter of Philippians. Amusingly (to me anyway), it comes right after the Apostle Paul urges two women, Euodia and Syntyche, to make more of an effort to be of the same mind as the Lord and get along with each other. Immediately I the memory of the two “prayer warriors” from my childhood.

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 

Let your gentleness be evident to all.

The Lord is near. 

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (verses 4 to 7)

I’ve been in a lot of religious settings in my life. Sadly, I’ve witnessed a lot of broken hearts in the wake of “doing things right” when right was defined by a person or institution whose need to be right surpassed the need to be gentle and extend love and grace to those who didn’t measure up to their standards. Even the disciples argued amongst themselves about who Jesus liked best and who would be greatest in the kingdom.

Servants, slaves, and employees may jostle for positions of greater trust and authority through superior performance. It’s their way of trying to earn security by being the most useful and therefore most valued asset. There’s a reason why Jesus told them, before he was crucified and rose again, that he considered them friends. Their position was secure because he loved them. That’s it. It’s all based on love. And he asked them to love one other as he and the Father love.

I am so painfully aware of the number of wounded believers rejected or left behind or still scrambling desperately for approval by those who determine themselves to be most loved. Somedays it feels like grief. Someday I just want to weep, but I am reminded that I am guilty myself of turning this whole prayer thing into some sort of me-first competition too.

There is so much more to this one-anothering thing than we think. All I know is that we are urged to be one in the Spirit. Unity is not to be found in our efforts or methods. Unity is found in God. God is love. He cannot love us any less than he already does, nor can he love us any more than he already does.

I am loved. You are loved. Let’s start praying together by rejoicing in that fact.